The Heartbeat of Forever
by BSwan.N
Summary: What if on an hunting trip Alice and Edward come across a car accident and the only survivor is a baby Bella.Bella's future now rests in the hands of the Cullens. Will they keep her? What does the future have instore for Bella and Edward?
1. Regrets

What if on a hunting trip Edward and Alice came across a baby Bella in a car which had hit a tree, killing her parents instantly. Then all of a sudden Alice has a vision about the child and persuades Edward to let her take her home. He reluctantly agrees and Bella's future then rests in the hands of the Cullens.

* * *

Chapter one  
Finding.

EPOV

Running through the forest as fast as I could with the warm spring breeze in my hair, on my cold, hard, skin felt amazing. I felt free, as if I could carry on running on forever and never having to look back.

It was as we ran just past the border of the town of Forks that it hit me, the smell of fresh human blood. Alice stopped immediately and I wasn't in control of my actions as I continued further towards the smell. I hadn't hunted in nearly two weeks and my throat burned as I inhaled the smell of these unfortunate humans.

Alice was right behind me and grabbed my arm as we became close enough to see where the smell was coming from.

A police cruiser was bent around the side of a tree, the glass in all the windows was smashed and a large thick branch had gone through the front window and from here it looked as if it had gone through the passenger.

I felt sick to the stomach and even though I felt horrible for these people I was still hungry and the smell of their fresh blood made my mouth water.

_"Edward. Stay here. It's safer, trust me."_ Alice was trying to help. Not just me but the people in the car. She walked closer, slowly, too slowly for her. I watched through her thoughts as she closed in on the site and walked round to the passenger side.

My fears were confirmed. The stray branch from the nearby tree had speared straight through the glass and into the female passenger. She looked over at the driver, he was a police officer. He was still in his uniform and his head was bleeding rapidly and a shard of glass had sliced his arm open. They were both dead. Their hearts did not beat and their bodies were becoming cold.

Suddenly a small cry came from the bushes near to the car. I got there before Alice and looked down to see a small bundle on the floor.

The baby looked up at me and immediately stopped crying. I bent down but as soon as I was close enough to feel the heat radiating off her, her scent hit me and my mouth suddenly burst into flames and the venom bubbling on the edge of my tongue. I immediately stepped back and tried to restrain myself from taking her life.

She didn't look scared, actually she looked calm and then suddenly smiled up at me. She couldn't have been any younger than two. Her eyes held me there for a second as I stared into the deep depths of her chocolate eyes. The burning in my throat never ceased but something about this little girl managed to help me to concentrate on her and only her at that very moment.

_"What is he doing?"_ Alice's rather loud thoughts caught my attention but her eyes still held me. She stared at me curiously and then suddenly she spoke,

"He...hel...hello." Her little voice was like a little wind chime in the wind. I smiled at her but I let go of my remaining breath and inhaled her intoxicating scent. I staggered back and Alice was in front of me in a flash picking the child up carefully and cradling her to her chest.

The child's scent was even better than the smell of any other human's fresh blood. It was so delicious, so floral, so . . . mouth watering.

It was then that it hit me. The only thing I could hear was Alice's thoughts and the sound of the nearby river. Where were the thoughts of this small child that enticed me so much with the smell of her blood?

"Edward, I swear to God if you don't get away right now, I might have to hit you!" Alice warned me. I obeyed immediately and started to run away back to Carlisle, back to my family. But there was something about the girl that was pulling me towards her. As if she had attached a rope to me and was pulling me back.

Carlisle's POV

Esme moved slightly in my arms and I looked down at her to admire her beautiful face. She stared back at me and smiled the smile that always warmed my heart. Emmett suddenly changed the channel and started screaming at it.

"Oh come on! That was so a foul!"

"Em, seriously, keep it down will you." Jasper said from the two seater against the wall. He was still waiting for Alice. She had been gone just over a day now, along with Edward. His mood hadn't picked up after his recent argument with Rosalie. I thought she had been very harsh considering everything Edward had been through.

Suddenly I heard fast footsteps running through the forest towards our home. My head snapped up and so did the rest of the family.

Edward walked through the doors, his face pained and panicked. My first thoughts went to Alice, but my fears were short lived as Jasper ran to him.

"Is Alice . . . ?"

He shook his head and took in a deep breath.

"Carlisle, grab you bag and you better call an ambulance."

I got up and stared at him, "Why son?"

"Just do it! "He snapped."Please."

I had never seen Edward like this before and obeyed immediately. I ran upstairs, grabbed my bag and my car keys and ran back down the stairs to my confused and panicked family. I nodded at them and followed Edward out the door and own to the garage. We got in the car and arrived at the disastrous scene moments later.


	2. Resistance

Chapter 2.  
Resistance.

Carlisle's POV

The sight of the body speared with the branch was disturbing and I prayed that they had not been in any pain when they died. I got closer to the car and could see that the branch had gone straight through her heart, killing her instantly.

Alice emerged from the nearby bushes moments later, cradling a small bundle. She was quietly talking to it and it was as she moved closer to us I realised it was a baby; I could hear its quiet heartbeat and could smell its sweet blood. I immediately understood. This child was of the two unfortunate humans in the car and that she had survived but not her parents. She was an orphan.

I moved over towards the child and held out my arms to Alice. She looked very reluctant to have to hand her over to me, but she did. The child was in perfect health, with not a scratch on her. She was extremely lucky.

"Where did you find her?" I asked Alice. She looked over at Edward.

"He found her in the bushes over there,"- she jerked her head towards the nearby bushes. - "my guess is she was thrown from the car."

I blocked out the mental picture of this child being thrown from the car. The child looked up at me and stared at me curiously with her big brown eyes, chocolate. That's what her eyes looked like, melted chocolate. She smiled suddenly, despite her parents being dead, and lifted her hand up to touch my neck. She wasn't bothered the tiniest bit by my cold, hard skin, in fact she looked soothed.

"Edward," I called behind my shoulder, "Call an ambulance and the police please. Its time."

He nodded and headed back to the car. He was in a strange mood. He wasn't angry anymore; he seemed . . . I don't think there were words to describe how he seemed to feel. It was odd. I hadn't seen him like this before.

"What's wrong with Edward?" I whispered to Alice as I handed the child back to her.

She hung her head, "It's her." She looked at the girl, "She appeals to him, in all the wrong ways. The restraint he showed after he found her was amazing. I haven't seen anything like it. He managed to get amazingly close before it was all too much. I grabbed her before he could do anything which would upset him or her. But she doesn't seem the slightest bit frightened."

That was why Edward hadn't walked any closer than the car. That's why he had seemed in the strangest of moods. That's why I hadn't seen him this way before. He was in pain. And a great deal according to Alice.

I walked back to the car with Alice and picked my medical bag up from the back. Edward got out the car but didn't move from the spot by the door. He stood there staring at the child, always staring, he never even blinked once. I realised then, that he was holding his breath.

_"Have you called the Police and the Ambulance?"_ I asked him. He didn't take his eyes off the girl or speak; he just gently nodded and then stared even more intently at the child in Alice's arms.

EPOV

The ambulance and Police arrived not long after and the bodies were cut from the car and taken away. The police had asked us all if we had seen anything. But of course, we hadn't. We were standing in the hospital, waiting for a decision to be made about the child.

The child's name was Isabella Marie Swan and was the daughter of Officer Charlie Swan and kindergarten teacher, Renee Swan. Isabella had been born on September 13th 1988, making her just over two years old.

Alice was holding the sleeping Isabella in her arms whilst sitting down and reading an old fashion magazine she had at home. Knowing more about Isabella was helping me restrain myself from hurting her. It was easier now, whilst in a hospital full of humans and fresh blood, than before when it was just me, her and Alice.

I would resist her blood as long as I could, and as soon as she was gone I wouldn't have to worry about my actions again, because she would be gone and I would be miles away from her again. I would be able to continue with my frozen-at-seventeen-forever state.

_My_ thoughts were distracted by Alice's very disturbing thoughts.

_"What would have happened if I wouldn't have grabbed her when I did? Don't think like that Alice. She's fine and safe in your arms."_ Alice had grown much attached to the child in the short time we had looked after her and her attachment towards her worried me. It worried me because I didn't want to have to be there when she was taken away from her. _"If only I could keep you."_ Alice was thinking about keeping her. That was impossible. How would a human child be able to grow up with a family full of Vampires?

Her thoughts had been restraining information from me and I jumped up from my seat across from her as I saw the vision she had had after we had found Isabella

In her vision Isabella was laughing and talking to her and she was no longer a baby, she was a young woman, she was beautiful. But this thought disturbed me so I watched the rest of the vision. The imaged flashed and there was a new scene in its place. It was the whole family, they were watching Isabella open her presents on her birthday, she wasn't as old as she was before, she was younger, much younger. I didn't like this at all. Would I be able to restrain myself from her? According to these visions, yes.

Alice's head snapped up and she smiled sheepishly at me. She was sympathetic and was actually sorry for causing me pain now and for the pain it would cause me later.

I knew I was going to have to try to restrain myself for Isabella's sake and for mine. I would have to resist her blood for as long as it took, even if it was decades, I would do it. It was strange that something in me felt bound to protect her, even from myself. I instinctively held out my arms to Alice, knowing that what I was about to do would either make me or break me.

Alice stared warily at me, before seeing nothing that would hurt her and then putting Isabella safely into my arms. Her eyes fluttered open as soon as she was in my arms and she smiled happily at me. Almost as if she wanted me to hold her and as if she had been waiting for me to hold her.

Alice was still watching me and she gasped slightly as I leaned closer to inhale her amazingly delicious scent. It was at that very moment that I realised what I'd been missing in my life, something to protect.

Isabella smiled teasingly at me and she knew that she had me wrapped around her tiny delicate little finger. I would do everything in my power to protect her, from myself and from the horrible world around her. I loved her like my little sister already. I didn't know what I was doing before I had done it but I bent down and kissed her little forehead, imagining what we would say to the rest of the family when they found out.

Alice was staring wide - eyed in horror at me and Carlisle was speechless.

I didn't care what they thought; I would always care for her, no matter what.


	3. Vote

Chapter 3  
Vote.

EPOV

Alice was over the moon at the idea of being able to adopt little Isabella. She had convinced Carlisle that it would work and that nobody would hurt her. He agreed and was signing the papers as I spoke. Alice was still staring at me cautiously as I held Isabella in my arms. She would smile at me every now and then and one time she laughed at me as I played peek-a-boo with her. She had the sweetest and most delicious little laugh I had ever heard. She was amazing.

_"God. You could at least pretend that you're in pain. Sheesh!"_ Alice thought. She was a bit annoyed with the amount of self restraint I had and no matter what she did - she even imagined what she would taste like, to try to entice me - she didn't succeed. Obviously.

Isabella suddenly giggled and I looked down at her curiosity overwhelming me. This not-being-able-to-read-her-mind thing was starting to annoy me. I wanted to know what she thought of me.

"Edw . . . Edwa . . ." My heart gave a little jolt even though it hadn't beaten for over 70 years. "Edwar. . . Edward." She said my name as clearly as a graduate student after taking 20 English classes. For her age she was very smart.

Alice's thoughts turned very sour as soon as Isabella had said my name. I smiled to myself, smug.

_"He thinks he's so special and that she likes him more just because she said his name. She likes me more; I've been looking after her, not him. She'll say my name as soon as she's in my arms again. And yes I __**know**__ you can hear me Edward."_ I laughed at her disgruntled expression and Isabella looked up at me and joined in.

Isabella continued to laugh as she reached up to touch my face with her tiny little hand. Her touch was so warm and she gently stroked my cold, hard skin, not seeming to be bothered at all by the texture of it. My laughing immediately ceased and she stopped as well. She stared into my golden eyes and then stretched up so she could place both of her hands on my cheeks. She smiled and gently pressed her cheek against mine.

She felt so delicate, so breakable; it was hard to concentrate with her amazing scent so close. I turned my head and buried my face in her wavy mahogany hair. I inhaled deeply and resisted the bouquet whilst appreciating it. Alice's thoughts were louder now, than ever and I blocked her out, knowing she would talk to me later.

Carlisle was walking down the corridor from the receptionist and was holding the papers that now confirmed that Isabella was a part of our family.

_"It's official. She's all ours."_ Carlisle was happy to have a new addition to the family and I was overjoyed to think that she would be able to stay with us.

I jumped up and held her close to my heart. She looked at me curiously and I knew what she was thinking, even though it was impossible.

"Your coming home with us Isabella." I whispered to her. She seemed to understand what that meant and her lips spread into a beautiful, heartbreaking little smile.

Alice was absolutely over the moon_." Yey! I have a little sister! Now I can dress her up and. . . "_ Alice's thoughts were of all the endless possibilities of the things she could teach her and what she could do - in other words Isabella was about to become a real life Barbie for Alice.

I kissed her hair and whispered, "Welcome to the family."

Carlisle's POV.

We arrived at our home an hour after getting the all clear from the lawyers and adoption agency that we could keep her. Edward volunteered to hold Isabella during the ride home, much to my surprise and Alice's dismay. I was very proud of my son and how he was able to handle being so close to her. I didn't think I would be able to handle the situation if it was me in his shoes. And I was grateful that it wasn't me but I felt incredibly sorry for Edward, having to go through all this pain.

Alice had gotten out of the car halfway to the house and said that she would tell them everything before we got so they understood everything. I didn't think we would have any problem with Esme and probably Rosalie, but it was the boys I was worried about, especially Jasper. What would he say?

We got out of the car and I could hear Alice telling them to quieten down and to just wait until they saw her to make any judgements or decisions. Me and Edward walked up to the house and walked through the doors to see our family standing right by the door.

"They've already voted." Alice announced. I was curious as to what the verdict was.

Esme stepped forward and smiled, "We would love to have her in our family."

I guess that Isabella had already made a big impression on them and they hadn't even met her yet. Edward was smiling but he knew that he would have to let the rest of them hold her and get to know her like he had already. I could see that he was attached to her like Alice was, but the connection between him and her was amazing, he looked as if he would throw himself in front of a bullet for her or push her out the way of a train. The relationship between them might be the only thing I will never understand or know the full extent of. I just hoped that this wouldn't end in tears


	4. Decisions

Chapter 4  
Decisions

EPOV

Isabella was passed to each family member, and she was obviously exhausted at the end of it. She was yawning by the time she reached Alice again and started to cry. I don't think I'd ever felt so helpless in my life.

"Shh." Alice and many others soothed her. She continued to cry.

I stepped forward to see her and as soon as I stepped into her view she stopped crying. May be I was just lucky, there was no way this girl liked me that much that I managed to stop her from crying, there was no way I comforted her.

Alice moved her out of mine and her view and she started to cry again. Alice was looking worried.

_"What's wrong with her?"_ Alice was debating on hungry or tired, the truth was, neither.

I walked over to her and held out my arms, "Give her to me." I said sighing.

Alice was wary and she had every right to, her blood still appealed to me in all the wrong reasons. She saw nothing and handed Isabella to me, she immediately stopped crying. I rocked her gently side-to-side and she started to smile and calm down.

Everybody stared at me in disbelief. But there was something about this girl - other than the fact that she smelt delicious and that I couldn't read her mind - that interested me. It was the fact that she didn't react the way I would expect her to. Every other human child would cry and run off to their parents if I even smiled at them, but Isabella just smiled back and giggled at me.

_"I hate this. She likes him more than me! It won't last because Edward won't be able to stay this close to her forever; he's got to keep a distance at some point."_ Alice was starting to annoy me and it was only the fragile little girl in my arms that stopped me from kicking her across the room. I wouldn't hurt her; she would probably just jump back up and hit me.

"Edward, stop staring at me! I know you can hear me!"" Alice said out loud glaring at me.

"Well maybe you should be careful about what you think around me!" I growled at her.

I was suddenly very aware of the small bundle in my arms which had frozen at my words. I looked down to see her staring up at me, frightened. But she simply put her hand on my neck and said,

"Shhhh."

She was trying to calm me down; she didn't want me to get upset. But the way she looked at me, she looked as if she trusted me, and that was a big mistake to make.

"Edward." She said, "Shh. . ." I calmed myself down before hugging her tightly to my chest, obviously not too tight; I don't think I could live with myself if I hurt her.

"Edward she looks tired why don't you go and put her upstairs on your couch while we debate what and how much we tell her when she is old enough to understand." Carlisle's words sounded concerned, even though his face was reassured.

I nodded and took Isabella upstairs and into my room. I went to my cupboard and pulled out a thick deep blue blanket and wrapped her carefully in it before placing her carefully on my couch. She looked so adorable, so warm. I wished at that very moment that I could be warm, human, so that I could be able to teach her things and act like a real brother. But I couldn't, I would never be able to act like a real brother, obviously I would be able to protect her much, much more than anybody else, but I wouldn't be able to do anything else. I would just be her protector.

She smiled at me and then her eyes closed and her breath became deep and even. I knelt next to her and watched her sleep. It was fascinating, to watch somebody go into a trance they don't know they're in until they wake and then to have dreams about fantasies and magical places or to have nightmares which scare and frighten them. I was watching her closely but my mind was somewhere else.

"So when she is old enough to understand, shall we tell her? Or when do we tell her? And what do we do about the Volturi?" Carlisle looked around the room at the rest of the family, waiting.

"Well, personally I think we should tell her in the next seven years. But that's my opinion." Rosalie was siding with Jasper but Jasper had a longer period of time in mind.

"I think 11 years or more."

"Why?" Carlisle asked. _"It might be a hazard when she is older, even though she understands more at that age. But I don't like the thought of keeping her out of the dark for so long."_

"Because I don't think she will understand what we are and might tell somebody accidently. She is still a child and they aren't that smart to be honest." I was already down the stairs and had Jasper up against the glass wall.

"Don't you dare insult her intelligence!" I hissed at him. I realised I had overreacted.

"Edward calm down. I'm sorry, I never meant to offend you or her." Jasper's sincerity was obviously clear and it took me only a few seconds to calm down. His words shocked me, he could probably sense how much I cared about the girl already.

"I'm sorry." I said, embarrassed at the thought of hurting my brother in front of my family. I had insulted them and myself for doing this in their presence.

"Sorry. . . " I whispered and ran back up the stairs to my room.

Isabella was sitting up on my couch and was staring at me intently. I walked into the room and knelt down next to her. She had a worried look on her face, something she shouldn't be expressing until she was older and something that made her look older. I stroked her small and pretty face and played with her small mahogany curls.

"Edward?" She said curiously. She was asking a question, she was asking me if I was ok.

"I'm fine. It's nothing to worry about." I told her, as if I was talking to any other member of my family, not a two year old child.

She didn't look like she believed me and I guessed that unless I told her the truth, she wasn't going to let it go.

"Sometimes Isabella, I have a problem with my temper. It's nothing to worry about though." But she needed to worry about other things, like how her blood appealed to me and how at this very moment my throat was on fire and if I didn't restrain myself I would end up hurting her.

Isabella Cullen." I whispered. I liked how that sounded, her name was beautiful, but I wondered if changing her name was the right thing to do. "Isabella Swan." I whispered to myself. That was who she was and I wasn't going to change that.

She was staring at me and then suddenly gasped. I looked at her and the curiosity was extremely annoying, I didn't know why she had gasped.

"Look." She pointed outside and I turned to see Tanya hanging from a nearby tree, her eyes were pitch black.

I growled and Tanya stared at me shocked. I got up and hid Isabella from her view. She couldn't know she was here, she was hungry and her blood was appealing to everybody, not just me.

She jumped and landed on the balcony to Alice's room. I ran to my door and locked it quickly. She walked down the corridor and then knocked on my door.

"Hello?" She said." Edward let me in."

There was no way in hell I was going to let her in.

_" Why won't he let me in? I haven't done anything to him, I didn't do anything inappropriate last time I was here. What is that smell, it's. . . delicious."_ I growled at her thoughts and she heard me.

"Edward? Why won't you let me in?" Tanya called.

"Go downstairs, Kate and Irina are already down there and Carlisle will explain everything." I told her.

"Ok. I'll be back later." She left then and I walked back over to Isabella.

"Sorry. " I apologized, "Did I scare you?"

She shook her head and smiled weakly.

"Yeah right." I scoffed.

She laughed at that and I did too. "Isabella?"

She shook her head.

"What then?" I asked.

She shrugged her shoulders, she obviously didn't like her name, even though I loved it. Her name was kind of a mouthful.

"Bella?" I asked.

She smiled and reached up to me. I smiled too and picked her up.

"Bella it is then."


	5. Escape

Chapter 5  
Escape.

15 years later.

BPOV

I could feel a cool breath tickle my cheek as I slept soundly. I rolled over and fell and hit the hard floor.

"Ow." I exclaimed as my head whipped against the floor, I rolled over again and held my head.

"Bella! Oh my God, are you ok?" I opened my eyes to see Edward kneeling over me, his face was panicked.

"I'm fine. Honestly, it's just a little bump." I reassured him. I wasn't expecting him to be this close, he usually kept his distance. He had never told me why.

He held out his hand and I took it, his cold touch sent shivers down my spine, but for wholly different reasons. He helped me up and I looked around. I was in Edward's room for some unknown reason. Then it hit me. I had been looking for a good book to read and after finding one I had decided to sit down on Edward's black, leather couch and read. I had obviously fallen asleep. I had been so tired recently due to the cold I had, Carlisle had let me have the past few days off.

"What time is it?" I asked him, staring at his perfectly beautiful face. My throat was sore and dry.

"8:30."

"What! I'm going to be late for school!" I jumped and went to run out of the room but Edward's arms wrapped themselves around my waist and held me back.

"Calm down, you're not going nowhere." He said.

"Why not?"

"Carlisle said you're still not well enough to go to school. So I volunteered to look after you." He smiled the crooked smile I knew and loved.

"Esme's' here, she could look after me, you don't have to stay behind and look after me." I stated. His face immediately dropped and I could sense that I had hurt his feelings.

"I mean it's not that I don't want you to, because I do want you to look after me. I mean I don't want you to have to give up a day at school just to look after me, it's not your fault I'm ill. I don't want you to go to school without me but I don't want you to go without me and leave me either. And I think I should shut up now." I rushed out to say, he just smiled at me and chuckled to himself.

"It's not because I have to, it's because I _want_ to. You're special." He chuckled.

"Oh. Well in that case do you mind if I ask you to sneak me out the house?" I asked, I didn't want to be cooped up in the house all day.

"The rest of them wouldn't like that."

"We don't have to tell them." I smiled.

"Fine. Where do you want to go?"

I thought for a minute, "Anywhere you want to go." I said.

"Ok you go get dressed and I'll wait for you downstairs." Edward said, his eyes smouldered for a second and then he smiled and I left the room.

"I'm ready." I announced walking down the stairs, trying not to trip. Edward was right at the bottom of them and caught me before I could fall into him.

"Shh. Esme's in the kitchen." Edward whispered.

My heart was pounding, and I was sure he could hear it. I tried to breathe evenly, but it didn't work.

"Stay here." He whispered in my ear, I shivered again.

He walked into the kitchen and I listened carefully.

"I might go out for a run ok?" Edward said.

"Edward, I'm not stupid so yes you can go out and tell Bella she can go too." She replied laughing.

"Sorry mom. We won't be too long."

"And next time Edward, try to be more successful at keeping it secret, like maybe writing notes, that might be more effective considering my hearing is very good."

"Sure mom."

Edward walked back over to me, "Let's go."

"Ok. Where are we going?" I asked.

"Surprise. Do you mind running?" He asked smiling.

"I tend to fall down a lot when I run." I stated, he should know this already, he's seen me fall down so many times already.

He laughed, " Not you, me."

"Oh, sure."

"Come on then." He grabbed my hand and dragged me through the house and out the front door.

Esme said goodbye and we left the house and started walking down the path and into the forest. He didn't rush ahead like he usually did, instead he walked at the same pace as me and helped me up after every fall I took.

"Isabella?" He asked.

I stopped and glared at him. I hated my full name.

"Sorry, Bella?" He said again.

"What?" I asked.

"Can we run now?"

"Sure, you go ahead." I said.

"No, silly. Both of us."

"How is that going to work?" I asked in curiosity. How would this work.

"You get on my back and I carry you." He said.

I stared at him in disbelief, "You're kidding right?"

"No."

"Ok. If you're serious about this." I agreed.

"I am." He grabbed my hand and slung me over his back, I wrapped my arms around his neck and clamped my legs around his waist. I'd never been this close to him before and an electric pulse seemed to run through me and him.

"Hold on tight." I did as he said and tightened my grip on him.

And then he started running and I started to feel sick, the trees were a green blur and I just about managed to keep my grip on him, I squeezed my eyes shut and waited. I was suddenly very warm and I opened my eyes to see I was now in an amazingly beautiful meadow.


	6. Question

_I know it looks short but when I first wrote it it was much longer. It is quite long when not stretched. It is just a link between this part and the next part which is quite long. Hope you like it!! _

* * *

Chapter 6  
Question

BPOV

I just stared at the open space which was filled with a range of amazing flowers, from Snowbells to Bluebells. The meadow was a perfect circle, as if somebody had just carved it into the landscape. The sun poured through and illuminated the meadow. A slight breeze rustled the leaves of the trees and the grass swayed left and right as if the cool wind was playing dominoes with it. I listened carefully and could just about hear the sound of a bubbling stream nearby. This place was beautiful.

"It's beautiful." I said, my voice sounded very loud in this quiet, blissful place.

Edward murmured something and only caught, " . . . with you standing in comparison." I was sure I misheard him and just about managed to loosen my hold on him so I could get down.

I fell to the ground and let out a little "oof" as I hit the ground. I looked up at Edward and I don't think I'd ever seen a more beautiful sight than him in the sunlight.

Edward in the sunlight was not only beautiful, but shocking. I couldn't get used to it even though I had seen him like this for about 15 years. His skin despite the faint flush of his recent hunting trip, literally sparkled, like thousands of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface. He was a perfect statue, carved in some unknown stone, smooth like marble, glittering like crystal.

He held out his sparkling hand, "Are you ok?"

I took his hand and he lifted me up easily and placed me carefully on my feet. I steadied myself and then looked back up at his face, he was smiling the smile that I absolutely loved.

"Do you like it?" Edward led me further into the meadow and then sat down in the middle of it and patted the grass next to him, gesturing for me to sit.

I sat next to him and gasped as his hand gently stroked my face before pushing my hair away from my face. How much longer would his words and his touch send an electric current through me and I wondered if my heart would ever behave when he was around. It was stupid to do so in the first place.

"It's beautiful." I repeated. I looked over at him and he was now lying down on the grass and had closed his eyes. I was wowed yet gain by his perfect features. I knew I was stupid to be feeling this way, even if I didn't know why I did.

"It is isn't it."

I nodded and looked around again. I saw a small gap in the trees and got up and walked over to it.

Behind the trees was a small stream, the drop was quite high and I leaned over to admire the sparkling water some more. The next thing I knew two cold hands pushed me and I fell into the shallow stream.

I landed on my back and looked up to see Edward smiling widely at me. He started to chuckle and then broke out into a booming laugh. I glared at him.

"Sorry-" He continued laughing, his breath coming out in gasps, " I couldn't. . . Help . . . it!" He burst out laughing again.

"It's not funny, will you help me up please!" I snarled at him. I wasn't at all amused.

"Sure." His laughter died and he held out his hand for me.

"Why did you bring me here?" I asked after he had helped me out of the stream and we were walking back to the meadow. My jeans were wet and so was the bottom of my t-shirt. I wasn't in a very good mood.

He didn't answer me. But continued to walk until he sat back down on the grass.

"Answer me!" I pleaded, "Please?"

I sat next to him and waited.


	7. Visitor

Chapter 7  
Visitors

He sighed and then spoke, "I was told by Alice to take you out of the house this morning. We were expecting visitors and Alice saw something she didn't like. Esme and the rest of the family know that they're coming but they don't know what else Alice saw." I was in complete shock, Edward and Alice wouldn't have made sure I wasn't in the house if it wasn't bad, but obviously it was, very bad.

I stared into Edward's golden eyes; they smouldered as I spoke, "What did she see?"

He shook his head and dropped his head from my gaze. He wasn't going to tell me. I knew this but I wasn't giving up that easily.

"Please, I have a right to know. If this is to do with _my_ future shouldn't I be able to know what it is, if it involves me?" I pleaded. He continued to look down until I got up and started to pace back and forth.

"Bella it doesn't just concern you, but me as well and I don't want you to worry about me when I can obviously take care of myself. Meanwhile, you can't." He started to smile but then it disappeared as quickly as it had appeared.

"Edward, how does it concern you?" My voice became a pitch higher and I stopped pacing mid step.

"It just does ok."

"No it's not ok. What if something happens to you and it's my fault, I don't think I could live with myself knowing I'd hurt you. It would hurt me so much to see you-" Edward cut me off and was on his feet and had his hand over my mouth in less than a second.

"Shhhh. You mean everything to our family, so the only thing you should be worrying about is yourself. Ok?" He didn't remove his hand and I wished he wouldn't. I nodded my head. He could see the reluctance in my eyes and pulled me into his arms. My heart thudded loudly inside my chest as his arms wrapped themselves around my waist and my head rested against his chest. I wasn't used to this. What had happened to all of his rules about keeping his distance?

He sighed and inhaled deeply, "You are so fascinating, you know. I never understand why your heart beats so fast and I've never uncovered the source of the hyperventilation." My breathing hitched and my heart started to beat faster.

"See there it goes again, and this time I bet I'm close to the answer." His audible smile was annoying.

"If you think you know, then say."

"Nope. You're cute when you're annoyed." I frowned and pulled away from him.

"I want to go home." I said plainly.

He sighed, "Sure. Hop on."

I jumped on his back and squeezed my eyes shut. The next thing I knew I was standing on the porch and Edward was pulling me from off his back.

He pulled me into his arms again and inhaled deeply again. I didn't like this one bit. I made the moment last by crushing myself closer to him and wrapping my arms around him.

Suddenly I heard a crash from inside the house and Edward pulled away. He stared into my eyes as if this was the last time he would see me. I did the same.

Edward held my hand and opened the door for us to go inside. I held his hand tightly and walked close beside him. My heart was beating erratically and my breathing was fast and shallow. Edward squeezed my hand and led me towards the dining room.

"What do you mean you don't know where they are!" I cringed at her voice and Edward growled. "What sort of parents are you if you don't even know where they are!"

"Edward is more than capable to look after himself and she is more than safe with him." Esme's normally sweet voice was sour and she only used this tone on one person ever since they had adopted me.

We rounded the corner into the dining room to see the scene in front of us.

Carlisle and Esme were standing at one end of the room facing the figure in the middle and Rosalie and Emmett were facing us. Tanya stooped in the middle of the room with her back to us.

"Tanya, I would appreciate it if you would cease to shout at my parents." Edward said growling slightly.

She turned around in one quick motion and her eyes came to stop at mine and Edward's hands twined together.

"I- I. Urgh! I hate you so much I can't say it!" She screamed at me.

I flinched into Edward's side and he crouched protectively in front of me.

"W-what have I done?" I asked, stuttering in fear.

"You. You've done everything! A week ago I was at home and then Irina calls telling me that she had come into a bit of trouble with some nomads. I knew that Kate was away, hunting, and that I wouldn't have a chance at helping her against nomads. So I called Edward and asked him to come up here to help me and Irina. But, he was busy because of you and because, let me quote 'She's upset and crying'." I didn't see how that had anything to do with her visit here."Well anyway, Irina ended up fighting them all by herself and if it weren't for Kate deciding to cut her trip short, I doubt she'd still be here in one piece."

"And that's my fault because. . ." I said politely.

"Because Edward was with you and your stupid human problems, when my sister, and his extended family were fighting Nomads, with no help what so ever!" She shouted.

I cringed and bit my bottom lip. Tanya had never liked me, never. She didn't like the fact that Edward cared more for me than her, even though they had known each other so much longer. Edward had told me that she likes him and that he had no interest in her. But that was a long time ago and the thought of him loving her now made me sick to the stomach. I shouldn't be feeling this way, but I did.

I remembered that day when I had come home crying because of school. Jessica and Lauren had decided that it would be funny to see what I would do if it looked like they were harassing Angela. I saw them and charged over to them and told them to leave her alone. Angela was grateful but Jessica started saying things that hit me where it hurt. They got to me and I ended up hiding out in Edward's car for the rest of the day. Edward had asked me to tell me what happened but I wouldn't. So he read their minds and stormed off to shout at them. I was grateful but they had been talking about me since, so I no longer sit with them, which means I can't sit with Angela, who looks like their next victim. It might seem like I minor thing but the things they said weren't at all.

"I. . . I'm sorry. But Edward didn't want to leave me, he could see I was upset. I don't know what to say." I apologized. It was the best I could do, it was Edward's choice to stay with me, not mine, even though I didn't mind at all.

"Sorry! That's all you can say! SORRY!" I cringed again and Emmett was suddenly in front of me, protecting me.

"Tanya, I think you should leave. Now!" Carlisle shouted. I'd never seen him like this before, and it scared me.

I peeked round the side of Emmett to see her glaring at me, then an all but too smug smile spread across her face and Edward pounced on her.

I jumped as she slammed into the northern wall, throwing the paintings onto the floor and shaking the wall. Edward growled at her and held her firmly by the neck. She continued to smile until Edward flung her across the room and she smashed into the glass table by the door to the kitchen. I flinched and Emmett ran to grab Edward before it got out of hand, I was suddenly vey scared and very unprotected.

Tanya ran to me and threw me into smashed table. The candles and roses Esme had but on there this morning were scattered and I landed in the biggest pile of broken glass. I tried to catch myself with my hands, but the glass sliced through my hand, the pain was so much that my arm gave way and I fell to the floor.

Emmett had let go of Edward and had grabbed Tanya, holding her up against the western wall, furthest away from me. Edward was next to me in a flash and so was Carlisle and Rosalie. Edward knelt down and picked me up from the broken glass. I looked at my blood which was pulsing from my hand and all over the floor. My eyes caught one of Esme's white roses, now dyed red by my blood. I hadn't realized how much blood was coming from my hand until I looked at the bigger picture.

Edward's clean shirt from this morning was now soaked in my blood and so were the carpet and my  
T-shirt. I thought my hand was the only thing that was bleeding, and the sight of it made me queasy. The glass had sliced my left arm open, the arm that was resting against Edward's body, my blood was rushing out of my arm and Edward quickly had his shirt and wrapped it round it. I diverted my eyes from him and smiled. I looked at the glistening blood which was all over the floor. I heaved.

EPOV

Her scent hit me like a wrecking ball and I only just managed to stay in control of myself. I looked over at Bella who was lying on the floor, her hot blood pulsing out of her hand and arm. My mind was clouded as I tried not to breath. It didn't work so I gave up and let her scent kill me.

I ran over to her, knelt down and had her in my arms, before the rest of them could blink. I shouldn't have brought her back, we should have stayed in the meadow, where it was safe. This was my entire fault.

_"Tanya is so going to get it once Bella's ok. I mean how dare she!"_ Emmett was holding her up against the western wall and was trying to ignore Bella's blood. He was safe for the moment.

_"Edward, let her go, I need to see her. She's bleeding so much, just please!"_ I ignored Carlisle and took my shirt of in one blindingly quick movement and wrapped it around her arm. I looked down at Bella and saw her divert her eyes away from me, she smiled slightly. I didn't understand her at all. She was bleeding to death and yet she was smiling.

_"Jerk! Just let Carlisle look at her, he needs to help her."_ I smiled, Rosalie was forever annoying. I sighed and handed her to Carlisle. I needed a minute, her scent was controlling me and I ran out the room to get some fresh air.

Esme, my kind and amazing mother, joined me on the porch and handed me a clean shirt. She smiled slightly.

_"She's going to be fine, Carlisle has stitched up her arm and her hand and has taken her to bed. She's exhausted. I'm going to guess this is why you and Alice were being so secretive, and why you took Bella out this morning."_

I couldn't lie to Esme. I nodded and sighed, " I didn't do a very good job though, did I?"

She placed her hand on my shoulder and smiled, "Edward, you did what you had to do. It wasn't your fault Tanya behaved the way she did. You saved Bella. Carlisle said that if wouldn't of wrapped your shirt around her arm to stop the bleeding when you did then he wasn't sure if she would make it. _You_ saved her Edward."

The sincerity and truth in her words was undeniable and I thanked her for that. But there was something I wasn't quite sure of.

"Tanya?" I asked. I already knew the answer but I needed to hear it.

_"Gone, I told her not to come back until she'd gotten over her hatred towards Bella."_

I snorted, "I doubt that will ever happen."

She sighed, "You could be a bit more understanding. Imagine it was Bella who was in trouble and not Irina, wouldn't you be angry if Tanya blew you off to stay with Kate or Irina for no obvious reason?"

I couldn't deny that, yes I would be. "Yes. But the thing is what reason has Tanya got to stay with Kate or Irina? I had a perfectly legitimate reason to stay behind. She hasn't."

Our theoretical conversation was confusing and I bet Bella wouldn't be able to keep up. I smiled at thought and then was brought back to reality.

"You may think you had a legitimate reason but to Tanya can you see how she might not think that?" I already knew what she thought, her thoughts had been awfully loud when she was screaming at Bella.

"I might go check on Bella?" I said.

She smiled, "Sure."

I hugged her and then walked back into the house, my clean shirt over my arm. I couldn't be bothered to put it on yet. I ran up the stairs and to her room on the third floor. I didn't knock, I could hear her even breath and her even heartbeats. She was asleep.

I opened the door and walked in. She was curled up on her large bed, the covers tangled all around her body and her hair was spread all around her small, warm face. I sighed. It was odd that her scent wasn't bothering me as much as usual, but then I realized why. The smell of the strongest anaesthetic Carlisle had was one of the only things I could smell. The other, her mouth watering scent. I couldn't smell her fresh blood anymore, just her normal scent. I was soothed and comforted by it.

It was there and then as I watched her sleep that she spoke.

"Stay."

I thought she had woken up but she hadn't because she turned over and spoke again.

"Stay. . . Edward, stay."

I was so sure she was awake but she turned over gain proving me wrong. Even though my heart hadn't beaten in 80 years I swear it just did. It was then that I felt very different, changed, altered and there was no going back. I knew the source and the reason to this;

It was her.


	8. More Questions

Chapter 8  
More Questions.

BPOV

I didn't sleep well that night. I kept dreaming that Tanya kept coming back and tried to get to me, but Edward stopped her and she ran away. I relaxed at that part of the dream but then Edward started to walk away, leaving me in the darkness, I called to him but he didn't answer and kept on walking. I was heartbroken at every step he took away from me. I shouldn't be feeling this way, it was stupid of me to be. He was my brother. Adopted or not, I had been brought into this family as his sister and any feelings I had towards him that weren't related to him being family were wrong.

I rolled over and sighed. Today would be agony, my arm ached badly. As I propped myself up on my bed, I felt the stitches rip in my hand and I screamed in pain. I collapsed back onto the bed clutching my hand to my chest.

I was suddenly in somebody's cold hard arms and I knew I was safe.

"Bella? What is it? Are you ok?" Edward asked me urgently, my head began to cloud and the memory of my dream swam in my head. He was always here for me, no matter what.

"No. . . I think I ripped the stitches in my ha- ND!" I had tried to show him my hand and had pulled my stitches again.

He grabbed my hand gently and examined it carefully. He shook his head.

"This isn't good. You need new stitches and you've ripped you hand open." He winced and I buried my head in his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and rocked me from side-to-side. I sighed and inhale his amazing scent. He kissed the top of my head.

"Bella, you need to be more careful, ok?" He told me. I knew this _now_.

"Ok. I wasn't thinking. I was away with the fairies." Away in a place where you felt the same as me. _No Bella. Don't say that. You shouldn't feel this way._ I told myself. This shouldn't be happening.

"Ahem!"

We both turned to see Emmett standing in the doorway. " Oh, sorry. Am I interrupting?" He smiled slightly, hoping he'd caught us doing something.

Edward sighed, "She's ripped her stitches and her hand open. We need to take her to Carlisle."

Emmett laughed, "That didn't last long. Jasper owes me 50 bucks."

"What! " I shouted. "You and Jasper were betting over how long my stitches would last?"

"No. We were betting over how long you would be able to not get hurt. I said by lunch today, he said by tomorrow. He has more faith in you. I, however, don't." He laughed.

I went to get up, "Emmett I swear to god as soon as I am able to use my hand again I'm going to hit you so hard I-"

Edward held me back, "Bella, he'd probably beat you and I can't see you get hurt again. If you want _me_ to fight with him, it would be my pleasure." He went to get up.

I gripped his shirt with my good hand, "Don't leave me please, don't."

He sat back down, "Shhh. I won't, as long as you want me here, I'll be here." He held me in his arms and rocked me again.

"Aww. Is lickle Bwella upset. Does she need her Edward?" Emmett laughed.

"Run, before I get Edward on you." I threatened.

He laughed, "I'm not scared of him, why would I be scared of Edward. Edward who saves clumsy lickle damsel from scary family members."

Edward growled.

"Alright, alright. I'm going." Emmett smiled and left the room. Today was going to be a long.

After Carlisle had restitched my hand up and had bandaged it up to ensure I didn't rip them again, Edward reluctantly left me to get changed. Alice decided she would pick out what I would wear, but as soon as she was gone Esme helped me get changed into something more comfortable.

It was only me, Edward, Alice and Jasper today. Rosalie and Emmett were supposedly looking at colleges but they had gone hunting with Esme.

Edward helped me carefully out of the car and carried my bag for me.

"I'm not an invalid." I said.

"Yet." He smiled and put his arm round my shoulders. My heart gave a little jump and I had to reassure myself that he had only done that because I was injured, no other reason. I would have to  
calm myself down. I couldn't carry on telling myself things that weren't real.

The first two lessons went quickly. Mike had asked me to come to his Christmas party in two weeks and had reluctantly agreed to let my siblings come. I had told him I would think about it. Me and parties didn't mix.

"When are you going hunting?" I whispered to Edward as we walked towards the cafeteria. He was carrying my bag and a tray full of food, for me.

"Tomorrow. Why?"

My heart started to beat faster. I hated it when anyone of my family had to go away, but at the moment I hated the time to come when Edward would have to go. It was stupid of me to be thinking or feeling like this but needed him, he made me feel better, comforted, safe.

Edward heard the change in my heartbeat and my breathing, "I won't be gone long. You won't have time to miss me. You'll be too excited over this Christmas Party of, Mike's." His voice became a growl as he said his name.

I laughed, "Do you know me at all?"

He smiled, "Better than you think. But everybody can make room for change, even you. It's not that bad."

"Not if Alice has anything to do with it. You just watch, she'll dress me up, do my makeup and anything else to get me ready, that's why I'm not telling her." I whispered to him.

"'Not telling me' what?" Alice popped up from behind Edward, making me jump.

"God, Alice. Can't you just walk in like normal people?" I hissed at her clutching Edward's arm for support. "You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

She smiled, "'Nearly'. But I didn't, did I? No exactly. Stop overreacting." She grabbed a tray of food and danced off to our table.

"That's exactly what I mean." I told Edward, pointing at Alice's little figure dancing across the room.

Edward laughed, "That's who she is. You can't change her."

I rolled my eyes, "But she seems pretty eager to change me."

He laughed.

I sighed, "There must be something wrong with me. Otherwise she wouldn't want to change me so eagerly, would she?"

He sighed and smiled, "I wouldn't change a thing. Your perfect just the way you are, clumsy, stubborn, caring and beautiful."

I could feel the warmth in my cheeks and I looked down, hoping to hide my red cheeks from Edward's eyes.

"You are a little biased, you know?" I said. We were near our table then.

"What do you mean?"

I smiled, "You have to say that. Your my brother." I repeated that last line over and over in my head, trying to make it sink in. _He's your brother, Bella. You don't feel anything else towards him except this. Any other feelings are wrong._ I would have to remind myself that, that he was my brother. Adopted or not I was brought up as his sister, he was my brother, I repeated to myself from this morning.

He shook his head, "You don't see yourself very clearly, do you? You are so beautiful, none of these other girls compare to you."

The blush returned and I hung my head, reminding myself of the little conversation I had had a moment ago with myself.

"See what I mean, your blush is one of the most beautiful things about you." He stated. Oh great, he had noticed.

"What else is beautiful about me?" I asked, not thinking about what I was saying before it was too late. I had put my foot in it. I looked up and waited for his response.

He smiled, "Why don't we sit over there today?" He asked, pointing to a spare table across the room from Alice and Jasper.

"Sure." I said, unsure of why he would want to sit away from our family. Maybe he was going to tell me the answers to my question. I doubted that.


	9. Vision

Chapter 9  
Vision.

EPOV

I lead her over to the spare table on the other side of the canteen. She looked unsure and mainly curious as to why I wanted to sit away from our family, but if she wanted me to answer her question she would let me do that away from my family.

I sat down and she sat next to me, her hands on the table, holding a bottle of lemonade. She smiled and I wondered what she was thinking.

"What are you thinking?" I asked her.

She looked down, her voice was barely a whisper, "Wishing I hadn't of said that."

I was sure I had heard her wrong but I decided that no matter if I heard what I had or not I should answer her question.

"Do you still want me to answer your question?" I asked lifting her head up with my forefinger.

Her heartbeats accelerated and her breath came out fast and shallow. I smiled to myself for no apparent reason, I had to keep calm. _She only reacted like that because your cold._ I told myself.

She nodded, "If you want to."

I sighed, she was always so reluctant to talk around me, as if she was afraid she might say something wrong. I doubt that was the problem, she never said anything wrong.

I smiled, " So you wanted to know what else was beautiful about you, yes?"

She nodded.

I sighed and looked into her deep chocolate brown eyes. "Where to begin."

She shifted from my gaze and I heard her take three deep breaths before returning to look at me. I wondered why she had done that. I had noticed that sometimes when trying to persuade females - Miss Cope for example - to change timetables for me, that their breathing accelerated and so did their heart beats. Just like Bella's were now. Was it possible. . . No. Never. She would never feel the same way, especially as I was a . . .

"Well, to start with, your eyes." I said.

She looked confused, "What about them?"

Where to begin, I thought, "Well, they're the strangest chocolate brown I've ever seen, like melted chocolate. Deep pools of melted chocolate, they're beautiful. I feel like I could gaze into them forever." I admitted. She looked down and I could see a faint blush on her cheeks. "Oh and when you blush, your skin looks like roses. Roses and cream. You are -"

_"Edward! I swear to god if you keep staring at her she's going to think you're a stalker!"_ I cut off distracted by Alice's thoughts. I tore my gaze away from Bella to glare at Alice.

_"What? Don't look at me like that! I'm warning you. Stay AWAY!"_ Alice was more annoying than usual and I had no idea why. She was hiding something from me, I just knew it.

I looked back at Bella who was staring at me curiously and . . . admiringly.

"Anyway. . . what was I saying?" I said, her head snapped up and she looked down again, the blush reappearing. I smiled, "Oh yeah, as I was saying, again, you are so beautiful, and kind, caring, stubborn - " I laughed. "- ,considerate and . . . Unique."

She lifted her head up, her cheeks were bright red, " You know you're making me blush, right?"

I chuckled, "I can see that." She hung her head again and rubbed her cheeks. I'm guessing to try to return her cheeks back to normal, but it had the opposite effect.

"By the way, I'm not beautiful, I'm ordinary." Her face was paler now. She looked at me waiting for something, as if she was waiting for me to agree with her.

I shook my head, "You really don't see yourself very clearly do you?" I sighed and brushed a strand of her hair back from her face. "I will repeat what I just said. You. Are. Beautiful. And it's the truth."

She sighed, as if she wanted to believe me, "I want to believe you, but you could just be saying that."

"I _am_ saying that. I'm saying that it's true." I took one of her hands and compared it to mine. "Bella, you are beautiful. Your warm and soft and everything I wish I was. Except for being a girl." I smiled. She did as well.

She sighed, "Edward, " I felt a thrill as she said my name. "We could have this discussion all day and I bet you would win so I'm not going to argue."

I smiled and listened closely to Alice who was mentally cursing me.

_"What is your problem? Why can't you stay away? You need to stay away! Please, just listen to me."_ Alice's thoughts slipped and I found out what she was hiding from me.

In her vision me and Bella were sitting next to each other. It looked as though we were in her room and she leaned closer to me before saying "I love you." I smile and reply "I love you too."

I gasped and a gigantic smile spread across my face. She would love me. Supposedly, I actually doubted that. Why would Bella love me?


	10. Jealousy

Chapter 10.

Jealousy.

BPOV

After mine and Edward's talk about me and my personality, Edward was behaving, differently. Distanced. I didn't know why he was behaving this way, but I had a suspicion that it was to do with me. And that hurt me. To know that I was the reason for his behaviour, for him ignoring me whenever I looked at him or when I tried to speak to him. I didn't want to feel hurt by his actions and sometimes he looked as if he didn't want that either, but I couldn't be sure.

"Bella?" I turned around immediately to see him standing there, leaning against the wall staring at me intently. My heart gave a little jump.

"Are you talking to me now? Because I had a feeling you were ignoring me." I said, his face immediately dropped and I felt sick to the stomach. I had hurt him, great.

"I'm not ignoring you, "He finally told me, "I'm just doing something I should of done years ago. Keeping my distance."

I had no idea what he was talking about, "What?"

He shook his head, "Let's just say, it's not good for _you_ to be around _me_."

I stood up and picked up my bag, "I still don't have a clue what you're on about. And you know what? I don't care anymore." That was the biggest lie I have ever told and I wished I could take it back. His face became incredibly sad and I thought I heard him say". . . I told Alice she wouldn't . . ." I decided to ignore whatever he had muttered and walked closer to him.

"I don't know what to do anymore. One minute you're my best friend, someone I could rely on, someone who made me happy and the next your ignoring me, avoiding me and I have no idea why." I shook my head, "At the moment I hate my life, because I'm not happy anymore."

I looked up at him and then walked past him and out of the library. I felt sick. I had told him that he made me happy and that he was my best friend and he said nothing. Did he really not care that he was my best friend? _Was_ my best friend. I reminded myself.

My head was spinning so I quickly ducked into the toilet and splashed my face with cold water, it helped. My eyes were sore and after a while I realized I was crying, over Edward. I was so stupid, but I couldn't help it, he had hurt me. I couldn't deny that. I had told him he made me happy and he said nothing. I didn't bother to wipe my tears away and instead let them cascade down my cheeks. I was suddenly aware of Angela, watching me from the door. I grabbed my bag and ran out, the tears still streaming down my cheeks.

I raced to my next lesson and then remembered it was biology. The only lesson I had with Edward - which usually made my day - was just about to become my own personal nightmare.

When I got to class it was empty, the only person who was there was sir so I quickly ducked in took my seat and began to doodle on my notebook. A few minutes passed and I heard other people entering the classroom. I was abruptly aware of my surroundings when I heard a chair scrape on the floor next to me. I didn't look up.

"Bella, I know you're probably going to ignore me for a very long time, but I just want to say. . . I'm sorry. For making you unhappy and for not being there for you to rely on." I was feeling really bad; his words eased some of the pain, making me question my theory on if he actually cared. "But no matter how much this hurts me, I have to do it. I'm sorry."

Wait a minute, this was hurting _him_. Why was hurting him? I was the one he was ignoring, not me ignoring him – even though I was honestly considering it. If he was hurting then maybe, just maybe, he didn't want to ignore me.

"Edward, what are you on about?" I asked him, "I've known you seventeen years and even now, I still don't understand what you're saying." I smiled weakly.

He smiled slightly but it didn't touch his eyes. "Well, it hurts me to be away from you. This is what happens when you care, you hurt."

He was right. The more you cared the more it hurt. I was hurting right now, because I cared. I cared about him.

We didn't talk for the rest of the lesson and he didn't even walk me to gym, but that didn't surprise me. He hadn't done that for the past few days now. I still hoped.

Mike cornered me after gym and I was scared. I hated when he talked to me alone, it meant there was something he only wanted me to know or he wanted to ask me something.

"Bella, you know that my party's next week?"

I nodded, "Yeah."

He smiled and looked into my eyes. I was uncomfortable.

"Well I was wondering if before that, you wanted to go out. Like on a date?" He smiled and waited for me to answer.

I was speechless and was having trouble functioning my mouth.

"Erm . . . I don't date. Sorry, it's just I don't like you that way. You're just my friend and a really good one." I said. I didn't want disappoint him too much. "Sorry."

He surprised me by laughing, "You don't date. Seriously Bella, that's the biggest lie I've ever heard you say. It doesn't have to be romantic if you don't want it to be."

I smiled weakly, "Seriously, I don't date. I'm not joking or lying. I'm telling the truth."

"Oh. " His smile faded, "Well that's too bad. Well if you don't want to go on a date, will you be my date for my party?"

I knew he wouldn't let me out of this one. No matter what I did. "Sure." I said reluctantly.

His smile returned, "Great, by the way, it's formal dress. So if your siblings are coming tell them its Tux's and Dresses. "

I smiled, "Will do."

I grabbed my bag and nearly ran to Edward's car. I couldn't believe this, I had told myself that no matter what happened I wouldn't give in and look what I've ended up with; A date, which I don't like anymore than a friend, with who I am going to a party I don't even want to go to.

I hopped in the car and realized that Edward's figure next to me in the front was tense and frozen. I looked over at him and his face was also tense, his lips in a stiff line and his forehead in a taut frown. He was staring out of the car and to a group of people standing across from the car. In the crowd was Mike. Oh crap.

EPOV

I stood behind her in the library at lunch and leaned against the nearest post.

"Bella?" I said. Her heart jumped a little bit as she turned around in her chair to face me.

"Are you talking to me now? Because I had a feeling you were ignoring me." She shot at me. That hit me where it hurts. I knew that I was hurting her, I knew that, but I was hurting myself in the process. Alice was right about some things; it hurt me to see her hurt.

I took a deep breath and spoke, "I'm not ignoring you," She looked upset; "I'm just doing something I should have done years ago. Keeping my distance."

This was true; I should have done this years ago. I should have kept my distance; if I had I wouldn't be in this position. But I wasn't going to take that chance. Alice's vision had scared me and thrilled me in ways that scared me again. I wanted so much for her to feel the same way felt for her but I knew that wouldn't happen. She would never love a person like me. But I was so scared that if she did, I might hurt her, and that was worse than me distancing myself. I couldn't bear to hurt her.

She stared at me confused and then said, "What?"

I shook my head "Let's just say it's not good for _you_ to be around _me_."

She stood up and picked up her bag. Her face was hard and hurt, I wish I didn't have to do this but I had to. She stared at me, "I still don't have a clue what you're on about. And you know what? I don't care anymore."

She didn't care. She didn't care. She didn't care about me? Or she didn't care that I was ignoring her? She obviously cared that I was ignoring her or she wouldn't be making a deal out of it.

She looked as if she wished she hadn't of said that. My face dropped and I stared at the floor and blocked out the voices in my head to see if she would say anything. She didn't and I muttered to myself, "I told Alice she wouldn't feel the same. I told her."

She looked confused at me as I lifted my head up and I wondered if she had heard me.

"I don't know what to do anymore. One minute you're my best friend, someone I could rely on, someone who made me happy and the next your ignoring me, avoiding me and I have no idea why." She shook her beautiful head, "At the moment I hate my life, because I'm not happy anymore."

She waited for an answer but I didn't know what to say. She wasn't happy, because I was ignoring her. She hated her life because I was no longer in it. Did she really feel the same way I felt for her? Maybe not the same way, but she definitely felt something. Apparently I made her happy and I wished I could now, but it just wasn't possible.

She glared at me and then stormed past me without another word. I had hurt her again.

The bell rang after a while and I slowly moved from my frozen position against the wall and headed towards the lesson which would become a nightmare. Biology. The only lesson I had with Bella.

I was walking unconsciously down the corridors when a few thoughts caught my attention.

"_What's up with Cullen? He looks as if he's been hit in the stomach. But then again, he and Bella haven't been seen talking for a while. Maybe they had a fight. Great! Maybe Bella will say yes if I ask her out. She's always come up with some excuse to do with her family, not this time though." _

I wanted to throw Newton out of the window. Out of all of the girls that fancied him he went after the one that had no interest in him whatsoever. The way he thought of Bella made me sick and his fantasies had disturbed and angered me for a few years now, but today it was even worse.

Somebody tapped me on the shoulder, I stopped and turned around. It was Angela.

"_He doesn't look too good."_ "Edward? Are you ok?"

Angela was quite comfortable talking to me after her and Bella's friendship had strengthened a year ago. She considered me a friend of hers now, which was very kind of her.

I nodded.

"_I wonder if Bella's got anything to do with this. She didn't look too good when she left the bathroom. I hate seeing her cry."_ Bella had been crying, I had made her cry. The pain rippled through me and I hung my head.

"Edward, you know you can tell me. I don't like seeing you or Bella hurt." She was so amazingly kind and sincere.

I wanted to play along so I said, "Bella's hurt?" The worry in my voice was real, I wasn't faking that.

"_Oh I shouldn't have said anything. Damn it"_ She nodded, "I saw her in the bathroom just now, crying."

"I-I . . ."

She rubbed my shoulder, carefully, "Edward, what's going on between you and Bella? And I don't just mean today." Angela cared about Bella and she cared about me in a way. _"Maybe I shouldn't have asked him that."_

"Angela, I'd rather not talk about it. And I'm late for class." I smiled weakly and made my way down the corridor.

Bella was already in class and was doodling on her notebook he head down, her eyes were a bit red. I felt terrible.

I sat next to her and sighed, "Bella, I know you're probably going to ignore me for a very long time, but I just want to say. . . I'm sorry. For making you unhappy and for not being there for you to rely on." Her face became slightly more relaxed, "But no matter how much this hurts me, I have to do it. I'm sorry."

She looked incredulously at me, as if she didn't understand why I would say that.

"Edward, what are you on about?" She asked me, "I've known you seventeen years and even now, I still don't understand what you're saying." She smiled weakly at me.

I tried to smile and then said, "Well, it hurts me to be away from you. This is what happens when you care, you hurt."

That was entirely true, I cared and I hurt. I cared about her and it hurt me. I didn't know how much longer I would be able to keep this up.

The rest of the lesson went slowly, we didn't speak and if we did it was because we had to. At the end of the lesson I raced out and made my way to Spanish without another glance at Bella.

Emmett looked worried as I entered the room; he was deciding whether or not to buy Rosalie another Diamond necklace for Christmas, she already had six.

"_Hey!"_ Emmett thought as I sat next to him, then he registered my mood and his thoughts became worried about me_. "Oh no. What now? Is it Bella, because I swear sometimes, she looks as if she wants you. It's weird; I mean she's our sister."_

I kicked Emmett under the table and glared at him.

"_It is Bella. What now? Has she finally realised that she loves Mikey."_ He joked. I kicked him again.

"_Sorry. What is it?" _He asked.

I spoke in a whisper, only Emmett could hear, "I've hurt her. I've hurt her Em, and I don't know how to fix it."

"_What have you done to hurt her?"_ He was curious, he had never seen me like this before, "_Seriously Ed, I've never seen you so pained, so worried. So hurt."_

"Drop it. Please. I can't talk about it right now." I pleaded with him.

"_I bet Alice knows. She does, doesn't she?"_ He was a bit annoyed now. Me and Alice always knew things before anybody else and we usually kept it to ourselves.

I nodded.

"_I hate you two sometimes. I wish I could know everything, but no. You two always keep it to yourselves." _

"Shut up Emmett." I growled and kicked his chair so much he nearly fell off. That put me in a better mood.

Spanish dragged and as I walked to my car I heard Mike Newton talking, to Bella.

"Bella, you know that my party's next week?" "_She better have remembered."_

She nodded, "Yeah."

He smiled and looked into her eyes. I wanted to rip his head off already.

"Well I was wondering if before that, you wanted to go out. Like on a date?" He smiled. _"She better say yes I mean why wouldn't she want to go out with me?"_

She was speechless and I was having trouble functioning my feet.

"Erm . . . I don't date. Sorry, it's just I don't like you that way. You're just my friend and a really good one." She said. "Sorry."

He surprised me by laughing, "You don't date. Seriously Bella, that's the biggest lie I've ever heard you say. It doesn't have to be romantic if you don't want it to be." _"I'm going to have to get her alone sometime, I mean she's gorgeous. And I'm . . . well pretty good looking if I do say so myself."_

She smiled weakly, "Seriously, I don't date. I'm not joking or lying. I'm telling the truth."

"Oh. " His smile faded and I was grateful for Bella and her little ways, "Well that's too bad. Well if you don't want to go on a date, will you be my date for my party?" _"She can't say no to me now, I mean its Christmas and it's my party and she'll be my date. Hopefully._

I knew he wouldn't let her out of this one. I was fuming, and passersby thought I had gone crazy.

"Sure." She said reluctantly.

His smile returned, "Great, by the way, it's formal dress. So if your siblings are coming tell them its Tux's and Dresses.""_ Oh and by the way Edward Cullen isn't invited. I wish. Well at least she's my date to the party. Yes. Maybe she'll finally admit she likes me."_

She smiled, "Will do."

I punched the wall and leant my head against it. This couldn't be happening. This just couldn't be happening. She had said yes to him. She was his date. And not mine.

I wanted to grab Newton and torture him before throwing him as far as I can and then and then. . . Urgh. It was no use. She had said yes to him, she would be his date.

I walked slowly to my car and got in. Bella was walking slowly towards the car, her face worried. I sat there my hand curled up over the steering wheel, tense. I frowned and my lips formed a stiff line as I registered Mike's thoughts.

He was standing in the group in front of the car, bragging. He was telling everybody that Bella was his date to the party. He was acting like a child with a brand new toy, showing it off.

At that moment Bella got in the car and stared at me. She took in my position then followed my glare towards the group in front. She must have known because her heart sped up and she gulped loudly.

I told myself again; she said yes to him. She was his date, not mine. She wasn't mine anymore or ever. Even though I loved her.


	11. Seperation

Chapter 11

Separation

BPOV

Mine and Edward's relationship had gone further downhill ever since he found out about my acceptance to be Mike's date at his party. He didn't so much ignore me, he talked to me when I asked him something and would smile - weakly but still - whenever I smiled at him. But it was almost as if, he wasn't there he was distant but not in the way were you knew it was on purpose.

Mike had managed to draw a line between mine and Edward's relationship by simply giving me no other choice. The next week was agony. Edward had 3 days off school and during the weekends he went out apparently hunting - again - but I refused to believe he had to hunt so many times in the space of one week. The separation between me and Edward was unbearable and I had to do something about it. I couldn't be separated from him any longer.

Today I would have to talk to him.

Mike's party had been delayed a few days due to his poor behaviour whilst helping his mom at the shop. I was grateful of this, it gave me a few more days to get round to Edward and try to figure out an excuse of going to the party.

I knocked on Edward's bedroom door and waited,

"Go away." He called.

"Edward. Please let me in, I need to talk to you." I said to the door.

The door opened slightly and Edward popped his head around it.

"What?" He asked.

I smiled slightly, his presence always sent my heart flying. "I need to talk to you."

He sighed sadly, "Go ahead."

I was getting quite annoyed with him, "Can I come in?"

"If you must." He opened the door and I walked in past him.

His room was a mess. His black couch was at an angle the pillows strewn across the floor. Most of his books were on the floor, along with some of his favourite CD's. I noticed that his laptop was open and upside down on his couch and that his journals and pieces of paper were also scattered across the floor.

He shut the door and walked over to stand in front of me.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" He asked politely.

I shook my head, "I can't do this anymore. We were best friends just over a week ago and now look at us. We can't even talk to each other anymore." I stepped closer and he stepped away, "What happened?"

He didn't answer, so I spoke instead, "I need you Edward, I'm not happy and you make me happy. If you're not happy, I'm not happy. Don't you see that, without you I'm nothing? You mean so much to me Edward. So much it's hard to say."

Maybe I had said a little too much about how much he meant to me. I was scared to see what he said because he had made it clear before that he was still dangerous, for some unknown reason, and that I should keep my distance. I hadn't listened to him then and I certainly wasn't going to listen to him now.

He smiled, "You know, you have just explained exactly how I feel. I'm not happy anywhere if you aren't with me. You mean so much to me too. I care about you so much that it's also too hard to explain."

I smiled and he reached out to hold me in his arms. I inhaled deeply and let his mouth-watering aroma surround me.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head against his chest. I didn't know why my heart thudded erratically inside my chest. His head rested against mine and then – so gently I wasn't sure he actually did – his lips pressed against my hair.

My heart was jumping out of my chest and my breathing went from deep and even to hyperventilating. Edward chuckled and pressed his lips to hair once more before pulling away.

"What are we going to do with you?" He asked.

"I don't know what you mean?" I said.

He shook his head, "It doesn't matter. I'm just sorry for acting like a jerk just because you're seeing Newton."

I pulled away, "I'm not seeing him. I just agreed to be his date for the party."

He shook his head, "That's not what Mike thinks. He's going to ask you to be his girlfriend at the party. And he's kind of told everybody that you're dating."

I was gobsmacked, "What! Is he delusional? I would never go out with him. Or any other guy at our school."

His smile faded and I had to amend my sentence, "What I meant was, Mike isn't at all my type and that neither is Eric or Tyler or any one of Mike's other friends."

His smile returned and then he was curious, "What is your type?"

I blushed, "Let's just say it's unexpected." I doubted Edward wanted to know what my type was. Especially when it was something that would send chills into every other person.

My curiosity got the better of me and I blurted out, "What's your type?"

His smile faded for a second but it returned, "Well, let's just say it is also unexpected."

After that we talked for a while and just lounged around in his room. Edward frequently moved over to put his arms around me, which I certainly didn't mind.

BPOV

"I'm only going to be gone a few days. I'll be back before you can even miss me."

"You said that last time" I moaned.

Edward pulled me into his arms and held me closely. I hated it when he had to leave. I was already feeling empty and even though I knew that it was stupid to feel this way, I couldn't help it. I would have nobody to talk to for the next few days and nobody to save me from Mike at school. I was going to miss him like crazy. I hated feeling like this. I hated knowing he was leaving. My vision became blurry and my voice became thick.

"Bella? Are you crying?" He asked pulling away to look at my face.

I kept my head down, "No." My voice gave it away.

He pulled me back into his arms, "You silly girl. You're crying just because we're all going hunting."

I shook my head, "Because you are."

His face was sad but he smiled slightly, "Bella, aren't you a bit sad that the rest are going?"

I nodded, "A little bit."

He smiled slightly, "I'll come back early if you want me too."

My eyes lit up, "Would you?"

He nodded, "Well I'm not going to leave you alone and unprotected, now am I?"

I flung my arms around his neck, "Thank you."

He chuckled, "I'll be back soon," I was dreading our parting words, "Bye, Bella."

The tears ran down my cheeks as I choked, "Bye Edward."

He kissed my forehead and then walked swiftly out the door before turning to smile at me quickly. And then he was gone.

I must have stood there for at least an hour before deciding to go to bed.

The sun had set a long time ago and I had been standing in the dark living room for what seemed like hours. I managed to make it up the stairs and to my room without tripping. I didn't even bother getting undressed and fell asleep on my bed. Sleeping a dreamless sleep.

The next morning I woke early and was undecided as to what to do.

It was just after lunch when I decided to do something. I knew that Esme had meant to clean the house before she left and I thought I would help her out by doing it for her.

I cleaned the living room and then the kitchen and dining room. I quickly dusted around Carlisle's office before tidying Alice's and then Jasper's rooms. I didn't dare touch Emmett's or Rosalie's, she had nearly bitten my head of last time I cleaned it. As for Emmett he teased me about going through his magazines.

I entered my room and quickly made my bed, ran the vacuum round and then dusted my shelves. I sorted my books and notepads out and took my trash out before making my way slowly down the stairs to the second floor, to Edward's room.

He hadn't tidied it since our last argument which meant that, his books, notepads, journals, papers, CD's and his laptop were still scattered around his room. I picked up his pillows and placed them on his couch. I put all his books back on the shelf along with his CD's. I put spare paper in the bin and the others in a neat pile on his desk.

When I had done that I carefully picked up his journals and placed them on a neat pile on the table next to his couch.

Edward had always told me I was nosy, especially when I asked about his journals but I couldn't help but take a look. I found one dated the year they adopted me and read the entry marked 24th July 1991. I knew I shouldn't but I couldn't help myself. I wondered if there was anything about me in it.

I read the first page;

24th July 1991.

Dear diary,

Bella will be four in just over two months and I still don't know how I have managed to restrain myself for this long. I thought I would kill her the very first time we met, her blood smells so delicious, even after living with her for months her scent still burns my throat like somebody has stuck a flaming hot poker down it.

I am a monster for even thinking about how delicious she smells, but even more of a monster for wondering how she would taste. Carlisle has told me it's in my nature and that I can't help it but that he has all the faith in me that I will succeed and manage to control my thirst. He says it takes practice and that it will get better. I don't know how it will when even now, with her sleeping peacefully on the floor above; I can smell her as if she is right in front of me. As if somebody is holding her in front of me, enticing me.

I don't know how or if I will ever be able to master my control so that it no longer bothers me but at the moment all I can think about, all I can smell, all I can taste is her scent.

I am a monster, for agreeing to Alice to keep away from her even when I want to and need to protect her from the outside world, but also needing to protect her from myself. It is impossible.

Bella knows that we are different and maybe to her we are monsters, but I will always be the biggest monster she needs to be or will be afraid of.

I closed the journal and placed it on the couch, open on the page. I was in complete shock. I didn't know what to think or what to say. The amount of pain I felt for Edward right now was, excruciating. It was too much to bear.

I collapsed onto the couch and wrapped my arms around my chest. Trying to hold onto the pieces of my body that were falling apart. Everything seemed to fit together now. Everything made sense.

The many reasons why Edward had always kept his distance and why he had always told me he was more dangerous than the rest of his family. Why he had always found it hard to be in the same room as me and why he had always found so hard to be around me. Everything made sense.

It was a Saturday and I wasn't expecting any visitors but the doorbell rang and I ran as fast as I could – without falling over – to get to the door.

The door was glass so I could see who it was immediately, Edward.

He stood with his back to the door waiting. Finally he turned around and went to get his key out. I panicked.

I tiptoed away from the door, without making a sound and then ran as fast as I could to get to his room to put away the journal I had been reading.

I made it to the second floor by the time he had opened the door and I was in his room in a flash. I grabbed his journal and was about to put it on the table when it was snatched from my hands.

I spun around to come face to face with Edward.

His face was full of anguish and he growled slightly. For the first time in my life, I think I was actually scared of Edward.

"Edward, I am so sorr-"

"Don't say you're sorry." He growled at me.

I stayed silent.

"How many times have I told you? Never ever read my journals. I thought you would have known that by now." He continued to glare at me, his face inches from mine. "I trusted you Bella. I trusted that you had the decency to respect my wishes."

My heart couldn't take much more of this. I knew I could no longer be trusted. Edward couldn't trust me. I could no longer trust myself. I should have just put them away, I shouldn't have read them.

"Edward, I know I shouldn't have read your journal, I just –"

"You read it! You read my journals?" He shouted in disbelief, "Alice had seen you with one but she hadn't told me you'd read it! How could you?" My throat was dry and thick. I gulped and tried to compose my hurt face.

"Bella, I trusted you with everything! Everything I held and hold dear I trusted you with. How could you do this? This is as bad as you seeing all my memories. Things I never want anybody to see. Not even you." He shouted. His growl had died down and it was replaced with just anger and disbelief.

I hung my head, knowing that he would never be able to trust me. Never. I had taken for granted what trust he had in me and gone through all of his thoughts, his memories. Things, as he said, he never wants anybody to see or know. Not even me.

"Bella, I would never do this to you. Why would you do it to me?" He asked. His voice was calmer, not completely ridden of his anger.

"I – I don't k-know. . ." I stuttered, my voice merely a whisper.

"If you don't know, then why do it? Why would you want to go through my memories and . . ." I was no longer listening.

The hot tears ran down my cheeks and my vision became blurry. I had hurt him. And my punishment was to hurt. A sob escaped my lips and Edward's rant came to a halt. The sobs escaped from my hold and I stood there, my vision blurry, my eyes red and sore already.

Edward's hand lifted my head up and his face was worried, "Bella?" His voice was soft. No anger left.

I jerked my face away from his hand and fled the room running up the stairs to my room. I slammed my door shut and flung myself on my bed.

I hated myself. I had hurt him because of me and my stupid curiosity. I hated myself soo much. The guilt that swallowed me was worse than anything I'd ever felt before. I'd hurt him. I'd invaded his space, his privacy. I'd read something I was never meant to and yet all i could think about was how much pain I had caused him then and now.

I sobbed louder and louder. My heart ached and my tears never ceased to roll down my cheeks. I stayed there for what felt like forever. The sobs ceasing and then something would remind me of him and they would start all over again.

EPOV

"If you don't know, then why do it?" I demanded, my anger dying. I couldn't be angry at her much longer. I could never be angry at Bella. But today was different. She had gone through the one thing I had told her not to. Why would you want to go through my memories and thoughts of my past? The things in some of those journals will give you nightmares. I thought I could trust you."

I was lying to her and myself then. I could always trust her. Her curiosity had got the better of her and it was one of the things I loved about her.

A small sob escaped from Bella and I stopped talking immediately. I stared at her. Her head was down and I could faintly see something glistening on her cheeks. I lifted her head up and stared at her in disbelief as my fears were confirmed.

She continued to look down but then her eyes found mine, "Bella?" I said softly. I had hurt her with my words. I had hurt her. My biggest fear had been to hurt Bella. And here I stood with my love and she was hurt.

She pulled her face from my hand and ran from the room. I heard her run up the stairs and run into her room. She shut the door and lay on her bed.

I couldn't believe what I had done. Many emotions filled me, guilt, anguish, loathing and hatred. But not towards her, towards me.

I looked down at the journal which was in my hand; it was still open at the page she had been reading. I sat down on my couch and read the entry.

24th July 1991.

Dear diary,

Bella will me four in just over two months and I still don't know how I have managed to restrain myself for this long. I thought I would kill her the very first time we met, her blood smells so delicious, even after living with her for months her scent still burns my throat like somebody has stuck a flaming hot poker down it.

I am a monster for even thinking about how delicious she smells, but even more of a monster for wondering how she would taste. Carlisle has told me it's in my nature and that I can't help it but that he has all the faith in me that I will succeed and manage to control my thirst. He says it takes practice and that it will get better. I don't know how it will when even now, with her sleeping peacefully on the floor above; I can smell her as if she is right in front of me. As if somebody is holding her in front of me, enticing me.

I don't know how or if I will ever be able to master my control so that it no longer bothers me but at the moment all I can think about, all I can smell, all I can taste is her scent.

I am a monster, for agreeing to Alice to keep away from her even when I want to and need to protect her from the outside world, but also needing to protect her from myself. It is impossible.

Bella knows that we are different and maybe to her we are monsters, but I will always be the biggest monster she needs to be or will be afraid of.

I turned the page and read on.

The truth is that I feel happier with her around, no matter how hard it is. I have always thought that I had everything I needed, a family, a house, everything I should need. But now I feel different, as if there is something in my life that I have but not to the extent where I am complete.

Bella seems to understand most of what I say and even though I know I can't read her mind, I still wish. I wish that I could see what she sees and hear what she thinks. It's strange not to be able to.

Bella is now a favourite in our family and even though she causes me pain beyond imagining, she is my favourite. My favourite to be around, to learn what she likes, what she dislikes, what she does and what she says. But Alice keeps warning me every time I get close to her. It wasn't a problem the first few weeks but now it's just annoying.

I hope I'll be able to control my instincts so that I may be able to see and help her grow up.

I closed the journal and placed next to the others.

To think that I had written that fifteen years ago. And to think fifteen years later I would fall in love with the girl who had caused me so much pain all those years ago.

I sat there for what felt like decades until finally I could wait no longer. I got up and made my way at human pace to her room.

I opened the door quietly and peeked in. I smiled slightly.

She laid on her bed, fully clothed, her hair in a wild mess around her, sleeping. Her breaths were even and slow her heartbeats barely loud enough for me to hear.

I walked in and sat next to her on her bed. She rolled over and murmured something into the covers. I listened closely as she moved her head and murmured again.

"Edward. . ." Her heart gave a little jolt as she said my name and I swear mine did too. "Edward. . . I'm. . . Sorry."

My heart filled with joy. She was apologizing even in her sleep. I smiled as she rolled over again, towards me.

"Edward. . . I. . . I . . . I. . . Love. . ." I leaned closer and breathed deeply, waiting.

She jolted upright out of bed.

I had woken her. Great.

She looked at me and then around the room. Her eyes focused on me again and then she jumped on me.

"I'm so sorry." She said as she wrapped her arms around me, sending an electric current through me. I wrapped my arms around her and cradled her to my chest.

"Shush. Don't apologize. I overacted, I should be apologizing. Not you. I'm so sorry." I said. The pain in my voice was undeniable. I had hurt her and yet she still apologized.

She silenced me with one finger over my mouth. I wanted to hold her closer, to see what it would feel like to have her lips against mine. . .

"Don't you dare apologize" She told me, "If anybody should be apologizing, it should be me. I was in the wrong. Not you."

I didn't argue but just cradled her to my chest. "Why don't we both say were sorry and forget about it. I don't like hurting you."

She nodded, "Ok. I don't like hurting you either."

I knew she meant this but I was still curious as to what she was going to say in her sleep. I wondered too much and came up with an answer that was impossible. I held her there for hours and after she had fallen asleep in my arms I murmured, "I love you."


	12. Christmas Revelation

Chapter 12

Christmas revelation.

BPOV

I dreamt I was in the meadow. The beautiful and tranquil meadow Edward had taken me to. I was standing in the middle of it, with the sun directly above me, making my mahogany hair look red. I spun around admiring the peaceful and magnificent surroundings when two cold hands wrapped themselves around my waist.

I turned to see Edward smiling, glittering in the sunlight. Like thousands of diamonds. I smiled back at him, completely dazzled.

He opened his mouth and said "I love you."

His voice, even in my dream sounded so real, so close, as if he had said it in reality. As if while sleeping in his arms he had whispered it in my ear.

He pulled me closer and lifted my head up with his hands; he closed his eyes and leaned closer. I waited for the moment where our lips would meet. I could feel his breath in my mouth and then all too suddenly;

I woke up.

"No!" I screamed.

Two cold arms wrapped themselves tighter around me, "Bella? Bella, what is it?"

I looked at his beautiful, flawless face and sighed. My dream had not done him justice. And my dream had also lied to me; he would not love me, he never would.

I shook my head, "Nothing."

He stared at me, worried, "Bella, you screamed. Did you have a nightmare?"

I decided to lie. Even though if that was a nightmare, I would like to know what an actual dream was like.

"Yes. I had a nightmare. Everything's ok now." I reassured him. His face became calmer and he pulled me closer to his chest.

"I thought I'd scared you." He told me, "I didn't expect you to wake up either. You looked so peaceful. Like you were happy. Like you didn't want to wake up."

"Believe me," I muttered, "I didn't."

I wasn't sure if he had heard me.

The next few days went by quickly and painfully.

Mike had decided to see what else he could do to try to separate me and Edward after we had made up.

At first he tried saying that Edward had been saying stuff about me. And that he had said something about how I was stupid and clumsy. Obviously I knew that it wasn't true.

Then after that failed he tried to make sure I was never in a 5 metre radius of him. That also didn't work because Edward came to find me every five minutes, saying Alice wanted to talk to me.

I think he was actually going to start hitting Edward after I had told him that I would believe Edward over him. Mike looked absolutely outraged. Edward looked a little smug.

I awoke on Friday wondering about what Mike's party would hold tonight. And how I was ever going to get away from him or make him realize that he was nothing more than an annoying friend.

I walked down the stairs in my new pyjamas – Alice had hidden my sweats, but Esme assured me they were safe. I went into the kitchen to find Edward over the stove, cooking.

He turned around to smile at me, "Do you want some pancakes? I just made them."

I smiled and said, "I was going to settle for cereal, but if you're making them, sure."

He smiled and put some on a plate for me, drizzled maple syrup over them and then placed them on the counter in front of me. I sat down on one of the high chairs and looked at the freshly cooked pancakes. They smelt delicious.

"You didn't have to." I told Edward.

He smiled and leant across the counter to kiss my forehead. My heat jumped out of my chest. "I know. But you deserve it. For having to live with seven Vampires for fifteen years."

I laughed and took a mouthful of the pancakes. They tasted better than they smelt. "This is really good. I mean really good. Where did you learn to cook?" I swallowed.

He laughed, "The TV is useful for some things."

I continued to eat watching him, watch me. I thought about all of the things I could do with my feelings for Edward. The possibilities all consisted of one thing, tell him. If I ignored him I would have to give him a reason for that, and if I wanted to show him how I felt I would have to tell him. I found only one solution in which I didn't have to tell him; go on as normal. Pretend nothing's changed, pretend that he's still my best friend and my brother and that's all that is to it. But I couldn't do that, because bottling up my feelings only made them stronger. So I'm back to square one again; tell him.

After I had finished I got ready for school and made sure Alice hadn't replaced anything else in my wardrobe.

School dragged and Mike had told everybody – and when I mean everybody I mean even some of the teachers knew – that I was his date for the party tonight. This meant Jessica wasn't talking to me. And then she told Lauren which meant that they were both whispering behind my back.

Edward walked me to gym as usual but when I went to go in he stopped me, "Bella."

I turned to looked at him, "What? What's wrong?"

"Promise me one thing."

"Of course."

He stared into my eyes, "Will you promise to dance with me at least once tonight?"

I lost my train of thought. I had a really funny remark as well. "Sure." I said.

He pulled me into his arms and held me for what felt like forever. He kissed my forehead and then walked down the corridor towards his Spanish class.

My heart was beating ten to a dozen. I took deep breaths and ignored the glances I was getting. I walked into gym. And I wished I hadn't.

We were doing Hockey.

At the end of the lesson I had managed to hit my own leg whilst hitting Lauren's foot and Mike's arm; all in one move. Mike had made me sit out after that. But I had still managed to trip over an empty box and land on a broken hockey stick.

I hopped out of class and right into Edward's arms.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"Yeah, sure." I said. I tried to walk properly. That hurt. "Ow!"

Edward put his arm around me, "No you're not. Let me have a look."

He made me sit on one of the benches in the corridor and rolled up my jeans, "Ow. Bella you've got a bruise the size of Canada on your leg. There is no way you're going to make it to that party."

His cool fingers gently pressed the bluish purple bruise. I nearly kicked him, "Ow! That hurts!"

He looked up at me, "Sorry. I won't do that again." He continued to examine it moving my leg to get a better view. My heart was in my mouth.

He rolled my jeans up further and his nose wrinkled. So did mine.

"Bella. You're bleeding." He gasped and rolled my jeans up further, to my knee. That was just brilliant.

He got up and helped me up off the bench, "We need to get you to Carlisle. He just got home." He looked at the clock as we exited through the door.

Alice was waiting along with Jasper against the tiny silver car. Alice looked frustrated.

Their features froze as they spotted my bruised and bleeding leg. Edward held me tighter to him and growled as Jasper took an involuntary step forward.

I leant into Edward and hopped towards the car. He threw the Keys to Alice who opened the car and got in the driver's seat. Jasper got in next to her and strained himself as Edward helped me into the car and then quickly got in next to me. I could tell this would be a long ride.

Alice removed the curlers from my hair and held it up with the gold slides she had borrowed from Esme. I frowned.

Edward had insisted that I stay at home due to my bruised and bleeding leg which Carlisle had stitched up. Alice wouldn't take no for an answer though and told Edward that it was for my own good and that there was no reason in any of us going if I wasn't. I sided with Edward.

Alice slipped my knee length deep blue dress over my hair and makeup and zipped up the back. She sat me down and placed the stupidly thin heeled shoes on my feet. I cursed at her mentally.

She placed the cream shawl over my shoulders and helped me stand up.

"Alice I can't walk in my converses, let alone Stilettos. I seriously think I should stay at home." I pleaded with her.

She pouted and glared at me, "Bella, I have been waiting for this day for the past two weeks and I bought your dress especially for tonight. I'm having fun. Don't spoil it, please?"

I sighed, "Fine, but you seriously owe me."

She helped me carefully down the stairs and into the living room where the rest of my family was waiting.

Rosalie looked amazing in her long red strapless dress and Emmett and Jasper didn't look to bad all smart in suits either. Alice danced over to stand by Jasper and I searched the room for the only person I really wanted to see.

Everybody's eyes looked up at the stairs and I turned around – slowly and carefully – to see Edward walking down them in a slim fitting black tux. His top button was undone and his tie was loose. He looked amazing. My heart was no longer contained in my chest. Instead it was jumping around erratically outside of it.

He smiled and wrapped his arm around my waist, "You look extraordinarily beautiful." He whispered in my ear.

I smiled.

We arrived at the party at ten minutes to nine and Mike was at the entrance to the town hall as soon as our car pulled up the drive.

It was going to be a long night.

Edward helped me out and followed the rest of our family in. I wanted to stay with Edward as long as possible but by the time I managed to sneak through the door Mike was tugging on my arm.

"Bella, you made it!" He exclaimed smiling at me.

I tried to smile back, "Hey Mike."

He pulled me away from Edward and towards the empty space which was being used as a dance floor. "Will you dance with me?"

I looked over my shoulder and to Edward who was standing in the middle of a crowd of newcomers. I pulled gently away, "Shouldn't you greet all of your guests?"

He shrugged and wrapped his arm around my waist. I wanted so badly to run.

We danced, or tripped through two songs before I told him I needed the loo and escaped to the corner of the room behind a pillar and plant pot. I stood there and sipped my punch.

I couldn't find Edward anywhere and not one of our family knew where he was. Alice was also missing, so I guessed they were together. At least it gave me more time to think.

That was thought was short lived as Jessica joined me behind the pillar. She looked around and then sighed, "Thank God for that. I thought I'd never get away."

I looked at her and smiled, "You're telling me. I think I only just managed to escape Mike. Who are you hiding from?" I asked.

She leant against the wall next to me and took a sip from her drink, "Eric. He's a little drunk. They spiked the punch." She told me.

I immediately poured my drink into the plant pot, "I think I'll stick to the orange juice."

She laughed, "Me too. I think it was clean when I got here. But I think I saw about three bottles of vodka poured in it."

I gasped. If Mike was drinking the punch better stay here.

"Listen about today and well the past few days. I'm sorry, about talking about you just because you're Mike's date." Jessica apologized.

I smiled, "I didn't really want to go with him. But he didn't give me a choice. I thought he would have asked you."

She smiled, "Thanks. You know what?"

"What?"

"I think Angela is the only one having a good time." She said.

"Why?"

"Because she's the only one with a date who isn't drunk." She laughed.

I joined in. Angela had gone with Ben. She had secretly told me she liked him but didn't think that it would work because she was so tall. She thought she had problems.

Just then Eric started to walk towards us.

"That's my cue to leave." Jessica whispered and ducked around the pillar and ran behind the tables. She made it to the other end just in time.

"Hey! It's Bella! How are ya? You seen Jessicwa?" He slurred.

I shook my head.

He didn't say anything else and turned around and headed in the opposite direction from where Jessica had run off to. I sighed. I hoped Mike wasn't that drunk.

My fears were confirmed as Mike dragged himself across the floor towards the tables. I ducked and sat on the floor. Making sure he couldn't see me. I waited until I saw him walk over to a drunken Tyler and then stood back up, looking around for any sign of Edward or Alice. Nothing.

Jasper stood across the room with Rosalie and Emmett. Jasper looked uneasy and I realised it was because Emmett and Rosalie were kissing each other passionately. I also felt sick.

After what felt like an hour of just standing there, I looked around and not seeing any sign of Mike or any of his drunken buddies's walked over to the table where Edward had left my bag and shawl.

I sat down and looked through my bag for my phone. I found it eventually along with some dark red lipstick Alice had put in there. I shoved the lipstick back in my bag and dialled Edward's number.

He didn't pick up and I started to worry. He always picked up his phone. No matter what. I was deciding whether or not to leave a message when Mike sat in the chair next to me. This was going to be fun.

"Hey beautiful!" He said as I turned to look at him.

"Mike, how much have you had to drink?" I asked. I could smell him from here. The smell of alcohol was stronger than the choking perfume Alice had put on me.

"A bottle or two. Why?" He slurred.

I wrinkled my nose, "Because you stink of alcohol and you look like you're going to be sick." I said shifting in my chair so I was further away from him.

He pulled his chair closer and leaned over to me, "Where you goin? You're not getting away from meh that easily. I've waited I don't know how long for you to go out with me and I ain't letting you get away now!" He told me.

He put his hand on my leg and started to slide it up. I froze and he moved closer to me trapping me in my seat.

"Mike, get your hand off me." I told him. I didn't want to make a scene.

His hand slid further up my thigh and before I knew what I was doing my hand had slapped his cheek and he was stumbling backwards.

"OW!" He cursed. "What was that for?"

I got up, "What do you think?"

He put his arm around my waist, stopping me from going any further.

"Get off me!" I struggled.

"Get your hands off her now." I was suddenly filled with hope and felt entirely safe now that he was here, "Do I have to tell you again, or do you want me to hit you, you vile moronic pig?"

He released me and I walked quickly to Edward's side. People were watching the scene in front of me.

Mike stood up, "Bring it on! I'll punch you to China and further."

Edward growled and pushed him ever so gently. He fell back and into the chairs. Some people were laughing, including Jessica.

Edward grabbed my shawl and bag and led me swiftly out the room and out of the back exit. I was still in complete shock as to what had happened.

We reached the bench outside, the surrounding trees decorated in thousands of fairy lights. It looked so beautiful. He sat me on the bench and wrapped my shawl carefully around my shoulders before placing my bag next to me.

He sat next to me and put his face in his hands.

"What is it?" I asked placing my hand carefully on his shoulder. He looked up immediately and stared at my hand.

I removed it immediately and placed it in my lap. This was going to be awkward.

"Edward I – "

He placed a finger over my lips, "You don't need to say anything at the moment. But I do." I waited and he removed his finger from my mouth before speaking, "Bella, you are the most important thing to me ever. I trust you with my life, my soul, my heart. I have never felt this way before; I have never ever felt this way." He took a deep breath, "I have tried so hard to stay away from you. But it's been so hard because as I have said before, without you I'm not happy. But it goes deeper than that, without you, I am nothing. You're my only reason to live. Nothing else. But no matter how much I care for you, I don't want to hurt you so –"

"Don't say it. Don't say you're going to try to stay away. Just don't." I placed my whole hand over his mouth.

He stared at me confused, "Why not?"

I sighed and everything I had kept secret came out, "Because I don't want you to leave. I can't be without you. I can't. Every time you went away, you took a piece of me with you. You took a piece of me. You are the other piece of me. I need you Edward. Much more than is necessary."

He wrapped his arms around my waist, "Really?"

I nodded, "I shouldn't feel this way, I know I shouldn't, but I do. And I don't want it to ever change. If you left me I . . . I don't. . . Know what I'd . . ."

He pulled me into his arms. "I'll never leave. Never. No matter what. I won't leave you."

I buried my head in his chest and wrapped my arms around him. It felt right. Like this was where I was supposed to be. I'd found my place.

"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb." He whispered.

I smiled slightly, "What a stupid lamb."

"What a sick, masochistic lion." He said.

We stayed there for what felt like forever. I never wanted to move. Never.


	13. Declaration

Chapter 13

Declaration.

BPOV

Edward led me to his car and drove us back to our home. I didn't ask what the rest of them would do to get home but I guessed they would either call a taxi or run. Most probably run. But then again I doubt Rosalie would in her dress.

"Edward?" I asked.

"Yes?"

"Is this why Alice has been in a bad mood?" I turned to look at him. We were at the house now.

He nodded and smiled, "She's been warning me to stay away from you for weeks now. But she finally gave in, knowing it would happen anyway."

I smiled. So she knew that this would happen. And that meant he knew.

"How long have you known?" I blurted out.

He smiled but it didn't reach is eyes, "The day that I told you what was special and beautiful about you. She might have had the vision before that but she hadn't told me." He smiled slightly at me and then got out of the car.

I picked up my bag and before I could get the handle, he had already opened the door and was helping me out.

We went inside and I walked into the lounge. I placed my bag on the new glass table and sat down on the sofa. I removed my shawl and watched as Edward walked slowly in and sat next to me. I moved over and smiled.

"Bella, I –" Edward stared into my eyes and his golden eyes smouldered. I waited.

"What?" I asked.

"I love you." He said.

My heart swelled up and I felt confident enough to say, "I love you too. Too much to explain."

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer. My heart was hammering inside my chest. I think he could hear it because he smiled and then leaned down towards me. I was sure that any moment now I would wake up and this would all be a dream.

"Bella . . . " He breathed. His cool breath caressed my face and he put his hands on either side of my face. I think my heart stopped beating as he leaned closer towards me. His face only inches from mine.

I closed my eyes and his cold lips touched mine.

Blood boiled under my lips and my breath came in a gasp. His lips moved against mine in an exciting way. The electric pulse ran through me and my fingers knotted in his hair, clutching him to me. He gasped and held me tightly. I moved my lips against his and parted my lips ever so slightly, tracing his lip with the tip of my tongue. It was amazing. He turned to stone immediately and pulled away.

I stared at him apologetically, "Sorry."

He smiled and gasped, "You should be."

I bit my bottom lip and shuffled away from him. I knew I was causing him pain. And I didn't want to.

He looked curiously at me, "Why did you move away?"

"Because I'm causing you pain." I said immediately. It was only then that I remembered he didn't know that I knew about his thirst for my blood.

"How. . ."

"I read your journal. Remember?" I said biting my lip again.

He smiled, "You don't have to be scared. I'm not going to shout at you. At least you know why I have to pull away. It's a bit easier that way."

I tried to smile, "I'm still sorry. For reading your journal."

He pulled me into his arms and kissed my hair, "Don't be. At least you know. It's a bit easier than having to explain. I'm not angry. But if I was, do you know what I'd do?" His voice was starting to sound menacing.

"What?"

He growled but it was a playful growl. I started to pull away and move further away from him on the sofa. "You wouldn't."

He growled and I got up as quickly as I could and tried to run away. I was laughing as his cold arms grabbed me by the waist and pulled me back towards what I thought was the sofa. Instead when he pulled me back down I hit the floor.

He trapped me on the floor, his arms on either side of me giving me no means of escape. He chuckled at my panicked expression and leaned down to kiss my lips gently. I wrapped my arms around him again but this time I resisted the urge to knot my fingers in his hair and also resisted to part my lips.

He pulled away and kissed my cheek and my nose before getting up and holding out his hand.

I laughed, "So that's what I would have gotten if you were angry. I might make you angry more often."

He smiled and I took his hand. He pulled me into his arms and held me close, "I can never be angry with you. Remember that. To be angry at you is like being angry with the other part of me."

I yawned.

"Bedtime." I laughed.

He smiled, "I forgot what time it was. It's easy to forget everything when I'm with you. And I actually don't care."

I shook my head and smiled, "You will care when I fall asleep while you're kissing me."

He smiled, "You're right. Come on." He took my hand and led me slowly up the stairs. I made it to the top without tripping for once.

When I got to my room I sat on my bed and sighed. I didn't really want to go to sleep. I wanted to stay with him. I knew that I couldn't so I pulled the slides from my hair letting my curled hair fall down and around my face. My head ached a bit from having them in so long. I got up and brushed my hair making the individual curls become wavy lines instead.

Edward sat on my bed whilst removing his jacket. I smiled as I passed him to my bathroom and took a deep breath.

I undressed quickly throwing my dress on the chair and shoving my shoes under it. I knew Alice would kill me, but at the moment I really didn't care.

I quickly put on the stupidly thin cami top and bottoms that Alice had bought me, removed my make up and walked back out to see Edward lying casually on my bed. His eyes closed.

I walked over and sat on my bed next to him. He opened his eyes and smiled.

"You look beautiful."

I smiled slightly, the blush colouring my cheeks, "Really? Are you sure you're not just saying that?"

He nodded and propped himself up on one arm so he could lean over to kiss my cheek. My heart hammered loudly in my chest.

I slid off the bed to get under the covers and then snuggled close to Edward. He stayed on top of the covers but still wrapped his arms around me. I inhaled his amazing scent and let it fill the air around me. I was in heaven. Or a place close to it.

He started to hum a song he had composed just a few months ago. It was soothing.

"What's that called?" I asked.

"Hmm?"

"The song you were just humming. What's it called?" I asked again.

He smiled, "Bella's Lullaby."

I blushed and rested my head on his chest. "Tell me why?"

"Why what?"

"Why it's called 'Bella's Lullaby'?" I closed my eyes and waited.

He sighed, "It's a long story. It might bore you."

I shook my head, "No it won't."

He chuckled at my tone, "Ok. It all started when you fell ill. Do you remember?"

I nodded.

"Well it was after Tanya had left and you had gone to sleep."I could tell it was still hard to talk about her, "I went up to check on you and found you tangled in your sheets, your hair messy all around your beautiful face and your mouth in a little 'o' shape." I blushed, I hadn't realised he could remember so much. "Then all of a sudden you started to speak. You said my name. A few times and then told me to stay." I blushed knowing that I spoke in my sleep. "It was at that moment that I knew that something had just completed me. That I found what I had been looking for, what I had been missing. You." I smiled.

"I went away and then all of sudden there was this new melody in my head. I started to play it on the piano and added parts that I had been meaning to find something for before. Before I knew it I had created your lullaby. I play it when I'm not watching you sleep –" He stopped.

"I wasn't supposed to tell you that." He said.

I blushed, "You've been watching me sleep?"

He nodded, "Every night since the first time. I like to listen to you talk. It's fascinating."

My eyes narrowed, "What have I said?"

He chuckled, "Mostly my name. And at one point you said that you needed me. Nothing too embarrassing."

"That's not embarrassing!"

He kissed my forehead, "If I could dream at all it would be about you. I'm not ashamed of that."

I yawned.

"You're tired. Sleep now my Bella." He whispered and kissed my lips before pulling me closer.

"Goodnight Edward. I love you." I said.

"I love you too, my love. Now sleep." And with that I drifted off into a deep sleep. Dreaming of Edward and only Edward. My Edward.


	14. The Truth

Chapter 14

The truth

BPOV

The next week was draining and more importantly, amazing.

I had asked Edward - well I wrote him a note - not to tell our family about us yet fearing their reactions and because it being so close to Christmas not wanting to spoil the mood by telling them that I was in love with Edward and him, too.

To keep our relationship a secret any conversation involving 'us' was written and then hidden, to make sure nobody could hear us. I found it romantic to write notes to each other; I think Edward was a bit annoyed with the fact that he had to write all the time.

Alice was always watching us. No matter where we were she was close by studying our every move. I had such an urge to tell her to keep out of our business but I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of actually knowing we were admitting our feelings, even though I wish I could tell everyone.

It was a week before Christmas when we had a letter come through about a will of my father's that had just been found. I was immediately upset. My parents were a subject that was never mentioned and for good reason. The last time somebody had asked me I had spent two whole days in my room crying, just because they weren't here.

The will stated that if anything were to happen to himself or my mother I was to be taken into the care of his best friend, Billy Black. There was sudden tension in the family and I refused to even read the new agreement about my carer.

"Bella we have to speak to the agency. If what we have read is true then our adoption of you was illegal. We could be sent to prison, especially if we ignore this." Carlisle told me as I stood in the dining room with Esme and Edward and the rest of our family.

"They can't make me leave! If we wait until I'm eighteen then I can choose where I live and there won't be any problems." I said.

He shook his head, "It doesn't work like that. No matter when we contact them you'll end up living with Mr Black. There's no way around this. If they say that they decline to adopt you then you'll either end up in an orphanage or you'll come back to us."

I moaned and Edward wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to into his arms. I buried my head in his chest and knew that if this Billy Black didn't decline or if he did I would end up losing the one part of my life I couldn't live without.

To the rest of the family – besides Alice – me and Edward were still brother and sister and best of friends. I knew that I couldn't tell them now, not after this news.

"I need some time to think," I said and started to pull away from Edward and walk out of the room. I gripped his hand firmly and pulled him along.

They didn't bother to ask why Edward had to come and simply let us past. As we reached the stairs I could hear them all begin to talk and debate.

As soon as we were on the second floor I stopped walking and wrapped my arms around Edward and crushed myself to him.

"I can't lose you." I whispered. I hoped that if anybody was listening Edward would tell me now.

"Me either." Obviously not. They were all busy talking and debating what to do next.

I stood on my tiptoes and kissed his cold hard lips with all my might. As always when he knew what I wanted he pushed me away.

"What happened to keeping it secret?" He asked a smile playing on his lips.

"I don't care." I said and pulled him closer to me.

I crushed my lips to his again and knotted my hands in his hair. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer crushing his lips against mine. He moved his lips gently against mine and I pulled him closer pulling his hair a tiny bit. Oops.

"Bella. Don't." He mumbled against my lips but he didn't sound confident, so I pulled myself closer to him, moving my lips against his with more passion.

He grabbed me and I was suddenly being pushed up against the wall. I gasped and he pulled away.

"That was too close." He murmured.

"Sorry. I was too close wasn't I?" I asked pushing him away unwillingly.

"Just a bit." He tried to laugh but his voice was still too restrained. I didn't laugh but unknotted my hands from his hair and took his hands from around my waist instead. I sighed and took in how fast my heart was beating. Too fast, I should be dead according to my heartbeats.

"Stupid heart." I cursed under my breath.

"Don't blame your heart. Without that you wouldn't even be here." Edward said.

"Did they hear us?" I asked changing the subject.

"No. Luckily. They thought that you were crying." He told me.

He walked me to my room and watched me fall asleep. I was very conscious of his presence and didn't get to sleep for ages.

I was walking towards a dark cave. The trees around me closing in, making the path narrower every minute making my heart beat faster.

I finally made it to the cave entrance and as I peered inside tentatively I heard a soft enticing voice come from the cave and then a scream.

I stepped back but something told me I had to go in.

And so I walked into the dark cave.

I woke up screaming.

"Bella? Are you ok?" I looked around and saw Edward sitting next to me, his face anxious.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Bad dream. Don't worry." I said.

"Don't worry. Yeah sure. You try not to worry when you watch the love of your life screaming in her sleep." He said sarcastically, his voice barely a whisper.

"It's nothing, seriously. You don't need to worry because I'm fine." I told him wrapping my arms around him.

He smiled, "Your fine for now."

"What do you mean?" I asked sceptically.

He growled playfully like he had the night of the Christmas party and I moved away just like before.

He crouched on my bed and growled again, I got up slowly and then made a run for the door.

But just like last time he was quicker than me and grabbed me by the waist, pulling me down to the floor.

I lay on the floor with him holding himself up over me. I giggled.

"So that's what you meant."

He smiled and bent his head to kiss my lips, "Yes, and no."

I didn't ask why he had said no but crushed my lips to his instead. All to suddenly he pulled away and was on his feet.

There was a knock at the door and then Esme walked in.

"Morning Edward, Bella." She smiled and didn't find it odd I was still lying on the floor.

"Come here," Edward said and helped me up.

Esme disappeared into my massive closet and I could hear her moving around my clothes. Edward quickly kissed my lips before Esme could come back.

She walked out with a pile of my dirty washing and a bag of rubbish, "I'll leave you to it. If you want some breakfast come downstairs, we all need to talk anyway." She said her face dropped as she told me the last part.

After she had gone I asked, "Why do we need to talk? What's going on?"

Edward sat on my bed and sighed, "We'll talk later, downstairs. Where everybody is present. It'll be easier, I won't have to repeat myself and neither will anybody else."

"Ok. Let me get dressed." I said.

He nodded and I walked into my bathroom. I was exhausted and felt all hyped up for some reason so I decided to have shower. The warm water was soothing and relaxed every muscle in my body that was worrying about what was going on downstairs. I tried so hard not to think about Edward being in the next room or the situation which I would become aware of soon. It didn't work; I was too aware of Edward in the next room so I got out of the shower and got dressed.

"I'm ready." I said walking into my room to Edward.

He smiled and wrapped his arms around me. "Let's go."

We didn't hold each other's hands as we walked down the stairs because of our family but he kept as close to me as possible.

Everybody was in the dining room again and I had a fair idea as to what this was about.

Everybody watched as we walked into the dining room and took the last two empty seats. We all waited for Carlisle to speak.

"Bella, as you know we had the letter come through about your adoption and today we had another come through. This time it said that we had no option but to send you to Mr Black or else myself and Esme would be put in prison for an illegal adoption. But then we had another letter which was from an anonymous person, it said that if we didn't want to see you hurt then you would move to La Push and never see or speak to us again. But if we had any contact with you at all you would be hurt or worse, killed." I was in utter shock and disbelief.

"Do you have any idea who it was?" I asked my voice dry.

"All we know is that it's one of our kind. That the person who's threatening us is a vampire and knows in detail about our situation." Carlisle told me.

"So a vampire is threatening you that if you don't send me away, then I'll be harmed." I repeated.

Carlisle nodded, "I'm afraid so."

"What if the person who sent you that letter is behind the adoption letters?" I asked.

"If that's true then this Billy Black won't have a clue about the adoption and him being supposed carer." Carlisle said.

"If this person had planned all of this, wouldn't I have seen it?" Alice said, "I mean I've seen loads of things concerning or involving Bella and they've all come true." She looked over at me and then her eyes shifted to Edward.

"Alice." Edward warned her, "Don't."

"Alice, what are you going to do?" I asked her getting up out of my seat.

"I can't stand it anymore." She said, a smirk playing around her lips.

"You wouldn't dare. Edward would rip your head off!" I told her raising my voice.

"He wouldn't hurt me." She said.

"Want to bet?" Edward said getting up out of his seat.

"What are you guys on about?" Emmett asked, throwing his hands in the air.

"I'll tell them." She warned us.

"Alice I swear to God you say one word and I will rip you to pieces." Edward growled.

"No you won't."

"Alice. He's not joking." Jasper told her staring at her in fear.

I couldn't believe Alice, how could she do this? I wasn't ready to tell anybody. I wouldn't have told Alice even if she couldn't see the future. I was about to cry with anger. I could feel my face becoming hot and my eyesight became blurry.

"Alice. Please. Don't." I said.

"You need to tell them. It's amazing how you've managed to keep it secret this long, without them having a clue as to what's going on. But you've kept it long enough." She smiled.

"Alice this isn't funny. This isn't something I'll get over easily. This is a big thing for me, and I trusted you to keep it quiet until I was ready." I told her the tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Alice, for someone so small you have an awfully big mouth. And I want you to keep it shut." Edward told her, his voice seething with anger.

"I like having a big mouth. And I'm going to tell them and you can't stop me." She said and stuck her tongue out at Edward.

"Alice this isn't a game. This is my life, and his. Please just keep your mouth shut for once and remember that this is my life you're going to tell everybody about. Not just an event that you've seen!" I shouted.

"I'm sorry Bella. But you can't keep them out of the dark any longer. It's not fair."

"No. What isn't fair is that I don't get to tell them when the time is right for me, not when you feel like it!" I shouted again, the hot streams of tears running down my face.

"Alice, what's going on?" Rosalie asked her golden eyes intrigued and anxious.

Alice opened her mouth but before anybody could blink Alice was on the floor on the other side of the room and Edward was holding her down, his hand over her mouth. I gasped and ran over to him.

"Alice?" I asked as she struggled under his grasp.

She looked at me.

"Please don't." I pleaded with her. My last attempt.

Jasper was next to us in a flash and was shouting at Edward.

"Get off her! She's done nothing wrong!"

"Yet." Edward growled.

Alice rolled her eyes and tried to get his hand away from her mouth. He removed his hand from her mouth.

"Do you promise?" Edward growled.

"I promise." She said.

He let go of her carefully and came to stand next to me.

"I'm so sorry." He said.

"It's ok. It's not your fault." I smiled slightly.

I turned around and headed back to my seat with Edward.

"Edward's in love with Bella. And Bella's in love with Edward." I turned around just as quickly as Edward to see Alice holding her hand over her mouth.

"Oops." She said.

Everybody was staring at us in shock. Emmett was smiling, so was Esme and Carlisle. Jasper looked concerned and Rosalie looked disgusted. This was going to take some explaining. I couldn't even look at Alice. How could she do this? She had promised.

Rosalie - who had always like me - charged towards Edward, "You jerk! How could you do this? How?" She shouted at him.

I stepped instinctively in front of him. "Leave him alone Rosalie. He didn't have a choice in the matter. It's not as if he said 'Oh I'll fall in love with Bella to annoy Rosalie and the rest of the family'. He didn't have a choice. Just like I didn't have a choice when I fell in love with him."

"Stay out of this Bella. It doesn't concern you." She snarled at me.

"'Doesn't concern me'! You're screaming at the man I love about me, so don't you dare tell me that it doesn't concern me!" I shouted at her.

She glared at me. Something in her expression made me wish I was something that would send chills down her bones. I wanted to be a vampire. I wanted to scare her.

"Bella, when we adopted you I could see how attached Edward was to you and I promised myself and you that I would never let him get too close, knowing it would be a huge risk, and one that I wasn't going to take. I don't want to see you hurt. And he will hurt you." She told me.

Her face became a bit softer and I actually felt sorry for her, knowing that she had had her life taken away from her when she had everything planned out for her future. She wanted a family, a child to look after. And I had been that child, she was simply protecting me from what she thought was a

threat or a risk.

"Rose. You don't have to worry. He would never hurt me, never. I can't live without him and you need to understand that. I know you only want what's best for me and want to protect me but you can't protect me from everything. You can't protect me from Edward. Not when he's the one I love and care for." I smiled sympathetically at her, trying to reassure her hat everything was fine that she had nothing to be worried about. But it just got worse.

"How do you know he won't hurt you? It's not as if you can read his mind or can see his future. You're basing all your trust in him on the fact that he loves you. That's not very reassuring is it?" She shouted at me. Edward growled from behind me. "You're just a child. You don't know what you're talking about! How do you even know you're in love? You have no experience, you could just have a crush like you do on a teacher or you could be confusing your feelings with love when you actually just love him as a best friend and brother. The way I and Alice feel about him. How do you actually know you love him?"

The tears ran down my cheek and I held in all my anger not wanting to turn this into a bigger argument than it already was but I just kept hearing her words in my head; 'You're just a child.' And I snapped.

"How do I know I love him? How do you know you love Emmett? How do you know Alice loves Jasper? How do you know Esme loves Carlisle?" I told her.

"We're adults. You're not. You're just a child. When you're older you'll understand what it's like to be in love. But you're too young to understand." She told me in a harsh tone.

"You don't know do you? You don't know for sure if they love each other do you? And yet you don't question them about if they really love each other, so why me? Don't you want to see me happy? Can't you see me happy?" I told her my voice full of disgust, criticising everything she had said to me.

"I'm in love with him and there's nothing you can do about it. You can either accept it or not. But you're not going to stop me from being with him!"

Edward placed his hand on my shoulder and pulled me back towards him as Rosalie took deep breaths and clenched her hands into fists.

"Bella, step back." He growled.

I stepped back into his arms and watched as Rosalie growled and then stormed out of the room , punching a hole in the wall as she went.


	15. Conditions

Chapter 15  
Conditions 

BPOV

Rosalie wasn't talking to me or Edward or Alice for that matter who had sided with me. Esme and Carlisle had also sided with me which put jasper in a very difficult position. He remained neutral in the situation but Emmett didn't have a choice but to side with Rosalie, which I didn't hold against him.

Christmas was two days away and I had got everybody a present except for Edward. So I was now searching online for a present which was suitable for a flawless, perfect, extraordinary, interesting vampire. I hadn't had any luck yet.

"Alice! Come here!" I called from my room.

The next thing I knew she was next to me peering over my shoulder.

"You called."

"Help me." I pleaded.

"With what?" She asked innocently.

"You know what. Please?"

"Fine. Try this website." She said typing in an unknown website. I watched as she skimmed through the pages until she stopped on one.

"Have a look at these. He should like them." She said and skipped out of my room.

I scanned the many watches and rings but gave up on that and started searching for customized piano's and guitars. He could do with a new hobby.

I didn't settle on anything knowing that Alice would see and turned off my laptop. I needed to see Edward but I just didn't want to have to go down stairs. Rosalie had decided that she wanted to hang around downstairs which was why I had been in my room for the past two days. Edward had locked himself in his room saying it would be best and to give Rosalie some time to cool down. I had been talking to him online which meant that nobody knew of our contact. This was easier on everybody, hopefully delaying any arguments.

_Edward?_ I typed.

_Hello my love._

_Have you missed me?_

_Of course, like crazy, I need to see you. _

My heart leaped out of my chest and I wondered if he could hear it.

_Me too, but I don't want to cause any arguments. It's peaceful at the moment, for a change_.

_I know, but it's killing me to be away from you. I miss you so much._

_It's only been two days :)_

_Still you sleep through most of it. I don't :)_

_That's true. _

_I miss watching you sleep._

_Me too. Well I miss you not being there. I don't sleep well without you anymore._ This was true. I hadn't slept well and my eyes and massive bags under them.

_Am I some sort of comfort for you? ;)_

_Of course._

_Glad to hear it. What have you been up to?_

_Not much. Christmas Shopping. You?_

_Bella. Its two days before Christmas._

_I know. You don't know how hard it is to find something for the love of your life that has everything already._

_I know I have everything I can't live without already. I have you :)_

_So what do you want?_

_You haven't got me a gift yet?!_

_No. I don't know what to get you. _

_I don't want a present. I have you. I don't need anything else, you've given me you and that's all I want and need._

_What did you dream about last night?_

That was out of the blue. _You and that I got to be with you forever._

_What did you dream about? ;)_

_:) I dreamt about being with you forever. I wish I could dream about being with you forever._

_You can. Close your eyes and imagine. I do it all the time. Especially in my sleep :)_

_That doesn't surprise me. I can hear you saying my name from here._

_What? In my sleep?_

_Yep. Rosalie is having to put a great deal of control into her actions. Last night she and Alice were fixing one of her dresses and then you said my name and she ripped the dress in half. Alice has to order a new one. XD_

_It's not funny. She hates me._

_She doesn't hate you she hates me. _

I yawned. _I'm tired. I'm going to go to sleep. _

_Good. Goodnight my love._

_I love you Edward. _

_I love you too. Sleep well._

_Xxxxx_

I turned off my laptop and climbed into my bed, having the best idea for what to get Edward for Christmas.

"Bella! Bella! Wake up!"

I opened my eyes to see Alice leaning over me. It was still dark.

"What Alice?" I groaned.

"Get down stairs now."

"Why?"

"Just do it."

I climbed out of bed and walked slowly down the stairs, Alice was right behind me. I made into the living room and looked around.

There was nobody there.

"Alice what?" I asked.

"In here." She said pointing to the spare room where we

I walked in front of her and looked around.

In the middle of the room was a large object. It was covered in a massive cream sheet which hung to the floor, covering it from top to bottom. I hadn't a clue what it was or why Alice wanted to show me it.

"What is it?" I asked walking closer to it.

"Take a look. I had a vision you would buy it along with something so I thought I'd order it for you." She smiled widely and watched me as I pulled the heavy sheet away to reveal just what I had been wanting.

It was a black ebony piano, just like the one that we already owned but this one had a picture of the meadow Edward loved so much and the words ' And so the Lion fell in love with Lamb...' engraved on the top of it. The picture had been painted obviously as it wasn't a clear cut picture, I could tell somebody had painted it. It was beautiful.

A single tear ran down my cheek.

"Bella? Do you like it? Did I get the picture right? And the words are they correct? Bella please say something?" Alice said.

"It's perfect." I gasped.

She squealed, "Yey!"

"Bella?" I spun around and quickly covered the piano with Alice's help before he could walk in.

We turned around just in time to see Edward walking into the room.

"What are you two up to?" He asked sceptically.

"Nothing, just wrapping presents." Alice giggled.

I shot her a mean glare, "Alice!"

Edward laughed, "I'm not going to look, don't worry."

"You better not, it took me forever to decide what to get you." I told him.

"Bella, come with me please." Edward said holding out his hand.

"Sure," I said and walked over and took his hand.

He led me upstairs and to his room, he shut the door quietly behind us and sighed. I stared at him, confused.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Nothing it's just Rosalie's out and this is the only time I'm going to get to see you before tomorrow." He wrapped his arms around me and held me closer to him.

"So we're all alone?"I asked.

"Well, yes, besides from Alice and Esme and Carlisle." He smiled.

"I love you Edward Cullen." I whispered in his ear, standing on my tiptoes.

He placed one of his hands under my chin and lifted my head up.

"I love you so much Isabella Swan." He replied, lowering his head so he was closer to me.

"It's Bella." I breathed.

"It's the same thing." He whispered and pressed his lips to mine

As usual I knotted my hands in his hair and pulled him closer to me, my breath coming in a wild gasp. My heart was beating erratically around my chest and my head was becoming dizzy. He pulled me even closer to him, crushing me against him. He moved his lips against mine and parted his lips slightly; I breathed in his scent and traced his upper lip with the tip of my tongue.

"Bella..." He breathed. I cut him off and crushed my lips to his again, holding him to me with all my strength. He traced my lips with his tongue and sighed.

"Edward, can you get you get your tongue out of her mouth, I need to talk to you."

We broke apart, and looked towards the door where Alice was standing.

"Don't you ever knock?" He groaned and pressed his lips to mine again.

"Nope. And I don't care whether you're in love or not, you don't spend the majority of your time making out. Okay?" She said dragging Edward off me.

"Alice, where's your Christmas spirit?" I said clinging to him making every second last.

"I don't have any. Now let him go!" She told me.

"No!" I grumbled and kissed his lips again and again until she gave up and dragged _me_ off him.

"If can't get him off you, but I'll can get you off him." She said pulling me off him easily.

Edward smiled at my expression as Alice pulled me off him.

"You always spoil my fun." I grumbled.

"You'll get over it. I need to talk to Edward, it's important." She said and dragged Edward out of the room. He mouthed the words, 'sorry' and 'I'll be back' and then was dragged from my view.

I waited for ages for Edward to come back and in that time I had fallen asleep.

In my dream I was just about to walk into the cave when suddenly I was by a river ad I was with Edward, sitting on the river bank in his arms.

I got up and walked to the river's edge and stared into the crystal clear water.

I stared at my reflection and blinked.

That couldn't be me. I was beautiful.

Paler than I usually am and my features were more angular and flawless. But it was my eyes that gave what I was away.

They were golden. Exactly the same as Edwards. I knew what this meant. I knew what my future would be. I would be with Edward forever. Forever as a Vampire.

EPOV

"Okay Alice, What do you want?" I asked as soon as we were out of Bella's room.

The sun was just peaking over the horizon and I could see the light sifting through the trees. I wanted to get back to Bella, no. I needed to get back to Bella.

Alice didn't say anything and instead pulled me towards the other end of the corridor. I couldn't hear anything off her. Why was she blocking me?

"Alice." I warned her. What was going on? Why was she being so secretive?

"I'll show you." She said and then I saw everything.

Bella had her back to me facing the sunlight. I tapped her shoulder and she turned and I gasped.

Her face glittered like a thousand crystals or diamonds. Her eyes weren't her beautiful chocolate brown anymore they were golden. Just like mine.

I came back to reality.

"No." I said my voice not even a whisper. "No, that can't happen. I won't let it."

"_It's going to happen. You can't stop it."_ She was right. I couldn't stop it, but I could stall it. I could make her wait five, ten years before she changed, so she could have a normal life. I owed her that.

"When?" I asked.

"_I'm not sure. It could be now or in two years time. But Bella doesn't look any different and she was wearing the brand new dress I've got her for Christmas."_ I couldn't let this happen I couldn't.

"I need some time." I said and walked back down the corridor to my room where Bella was still.

I couldn't bear to think about Bella losing her life, losing everything she has in life to look forward to. Getting married, having children, growing old. And then it hit me. How could she have all these things with me? She couldn't. I couldn't marry her and give her a real marriage, I couldn't have children with her and I couldn't grow old with her. Being with Bella was literally like me taking away her whole life, erasing the future with just one emotion; love.

I opened the door and saw Bella sleeping peacefully on my sofa. She looked so young, beautiful and human. The way it was supposed to be. I didn't know how I would do it but I would give Bella a human life. With or without me.

I sat next to her and stroked her soft mahogany hair. How could I turn her into a monster? How could I turn her into the still, white monster that was a vampire? I couldn't bear not to see her cheeks blush red or see her eyes flash with intuition when she sees right through my lies and pretences.

"Edward?" She whispered.

At first I thought she was talking in her sleep like usual but then she sat up and looked curiously into my eyes, her expression became worried. I looked at my reflection in the deep chocolate pools that were her eyes and saw why she looked so worried.

My face was agonized, tortured. My brow screwed up and my eyes filled with the pain of what I would have to do sooner rather than later.

"Edward, what is it?" She placed her soft, warm, delicate hand on my cheek and rubbed little circles on my cheek with her thumb.

"It's nothing that concerns you." I told her smiling slightly. Nothing that concerns her yet at least.

She didn't seem to believe to me at first but then she smiled, it was still worried but I knew that I had convinced her.

I smiled again and then left her alone.

I walked down the corridor to Bella's room and walked in to spend Christmas with her. She was curled up tonight. Her hands in little fists under her chin, her hair still a messy disarray around her face.

I stroked her face and waited until the sun came up to say,

"Merry Christmas, my Bella." I kissed her cheek and she smiled in her sleep.

I waited and waited and then finally at ten minutes past eight, she woke up.

"Morning." I said as she stared into my eyes.

I smiled slightly, "Merry Christmas." I kissed her cheek and looked into her deep chocolate brown eyes.

"Merry Christmas."

She didn't say anything else; she just got up, went into the bathroom, came out and then walked to the door.

"Aren't you coming?" She asked.

I nodded and took her hand before leading her down the stairs. She took her time and I didn't rush her. When we made it to the bottom I saw her face light up at the scene in front of her.

They had put up a big green Christmas tree in the corner by the window; it was covered in thousands of decorations, old and new, put in an organised manner. There were Christmas cards above and below the TV. Different wreaths and decorations were hung around the room and the windows had been decorated with fake snowflakes.

I smiled at the effort put in by my family and led Bella towards the tree which was surrounded by presents.

Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie were all there waiting for us. They smiled at us and everybody except Carlisle and Esme crouched by the tree.

Me and Bella both sat on the carpet that had been laid under the tree and smiled.

"So who's first?" Alice cheered.

I didn't really feel like Christmas. I had too much to think about.

BPOV

"I want to go first!" Emmett shouted. We all laughed.

He opened his present off Edward and Jasper and smiled sarcastically, "Aww guys you shouldn't have."

It was a brand new electronic chess board.

"We thought you could do with some practice." They said and we all burst out laughing.

Alice was next; she opened the present that me and Rosalie had ordered before I was with Edward. She screamed when she opened it.

"Oh my god! Thank you!" It was the latest dress designed by Vivienne Westwood. It was one of a kind.

I said I would go last along with Edward and we watched as they all opened their presents. Esme adored her new painting of a small meadow in the middle of the forest. It wasn't the meadow that I had visited it was of one Esme had grown up nearby when she was a child.

Carlisle was still laughing at the note I had put inside the book about How to deal with troublesome Children. I had referred it to Emmett.

Rosalie was smiling after opening the pair of Gucci shoes I had bought for her, with encrusted Diamonds. Real not fake.

Jasper was setting up the new laptop I had bought him as Emmett had trod on the last one he had. It had everything and when I mean everything, I mean everything.

Emmett was still bummed over my present for him. It was a note telling him to be less loud and that if he succeeded it would be my Christmas present. I actually had his other present waiting outback; it was the new Jeep, shiny red, just like his old one.

It was my turn next. I hated presents, even though Alice always knew what to get me.

"Bella, open ours first." Jasper and Emmett said. I picked up the box and ripped the paper off.

"Oh my god! Thank you so much!" I said.

It was an original copy of Romeo and Juliet, dated about fifteen years after Shakespeare's death. The binding was brown along with the cover. It was covered in an old material which was just about keeping the book together. The pages where thick and were a tea stained colour.

"Where did you get it?!" I asked.

"Some guy over the internet had had it in his family for generations but his family didn't want it anymore, so we bought it." Emmett told me.

I stroked the cover and then placed it to one side carefully.

Alice handed me a big flat box and I could already guess what it was.

I opened the box and my guess was right. It was a dress.

"So?" Alice asked.

I examined it carefully. It was deep blue, just like the blouse I owned and had a scooped neck. It curved in and the waist and the flared out. It was amazing.

"I love it!" I said.

"Yey!" Alice cheered and pulled me into a hug from across the presents.

Esme handed me a small box next and said, "It's off all of us, Rosalie picked out the design though."

I smiled and opened the box, I gasped.

"We thought that maybe it was time to give you it, to make you a proper member of the family. Well no, to make it official really." Esme said.

I just stared at the pendant and examined the small crest on the end of the long chain. The crest was the same as the one I had seen around Alice and Rosalie's neck, Edward, Emmett, Jasper and Esme's wrist and Carlisle's hand. Their family crest.

I didn't know what to say.

"It's. . ."

"What?" Alice asked.

"Perfect." I finished.

They all smiled and I picked up the necklace and placed it around my neck. It hung to my waist and swayed gently. I smiled.

"Edward, give her your present now." Alice beamed.

I looked up at Edward and smiled. He smiled back, picked up a little gold box and handed it to me.

"What it says is true. It will always be true." He said as I opened the box.

Inside the box lay a small, gold heart shaped pendant. The gold chain looked like a vine as it crawled it's was up to the little gold clasp at the top. But I was more interested in the little heart and what it said. I read the inscription out loud,

"'I dream about being with you forever.'"

A single tear fell down my cheek and I gasped, not realising I had stopped breathing until then. Edward stared at my face, waiting.

"Bella?" He asked.

I didn't know what to say, so I threw myself at him and kissed him with all the passion I felt for him. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer, kissing me back. I knotted my fingers in his hair and clutched him closer.

"Ahem."

We broke apart and I saw Emmett raising his eye brows at us.

"Sorry." I said and then hugged Edward.

"Thank you so much. It's perfect, I couldn't have asked for anything more. I love you." I said against his chest.

He chuckled, "I love you too."

I pulled away and wiped the tears from my eyes.

Esme and Carlisle were smiling and so was Alice. Jasper wasn't smiling but he didn't look sad or mad, Emmett was trying not to laugh and Rosalie was nowhere in sight.

"Where's-"

"She went outside to cool down." Esme said.

"Oh."

"It'll get better, don't worry."

I nodded my head reluctantly.

Edward opened all of his presents next. I didn't pay much attention to what he got I just remember seeing his face light up at certain presents such as Alice's and Esme's and Carlisle's. He hit Emmett and Jasper when he opened theirs.

"It's mainly for Bella, but you could use it too. Eddie!" Emmett teased him when he opened the package and it was a lingerie set. My cheeks were still red.

"My turn." I said and got up.

"What do you mean?" Edward said.

"My presents a bit too big to fit in here." I told him and led him towards the spare room.

Everybody followed us and stood around the covered object in the middle of the room. Alice had decorated it with a giant red ribbon and sprinkles of glitter.

He looked at me uncertainly and stepped forward.

"Go on. Open it." I told him.

He pulled the ribbon off and then pulled off the sheet. He gasped.

I stood there and watched as everybody's faces became shocked and awe struck. Esme looked as if, if she could cry, she would.

"Edward? Do you like it?" I asked a he glided his hand across the top and then across the keys. He circled it twice and then looked up at me.

His face was completely shocked and loving. He smiled and pulled me into his arms.

"I love it. I absolutely love it. You are amazing Bella Swan. I love you so much." He whispered.

He placed his hands on either side of his face leaned closer and closer and closer. I couldn't bear it anymore I pulled myself closer so that our lips just about touched.

"I want to spend forever with you." I whispered and then pressed my lips to his.

He kissed me the way he always did but there was something about it that was restrained this time. He pulled away then and sighed,

"We need to talk." He said.

I looked around and saw that everybody had disappeared, giving us some privacy. I stared at him, confused.

"Sure."

He led me onto the back porch and looked out into the forest.

"Bella, that can't happen." He told me.

"What can't?" I asked, thoroughly confused.

"You can't spend forever with me."

Didn't he want me to spend forever with him? Did he think that I would become boring after twenty years together? Didn't he love me enough to want to spend forever with _me_?

"Don't you want to spend forever with me?" I asked, my throat becoming dry.

"I do, but I'm not going to end your life for you. I'm not going to turn you into a monster so you can spend forever with and even bigger monster. If there were some way around it, if there were conditions we could agree to then maybe. But at the moment, no." He said.

"I don't understand. You're not a monster. And if this was true, do you think that matters to me? All that matters is that you love me. That's it. I wouldn't care if you had a third eye and webbed feet, I would still love you." I told him.

"You would care when you realise that being with me forever means losing every human experience waiting for you in your future. You're better off without me." He replied, his voice becoming sour. He had never, ever been like this before.

"What do you mean? I don't want to have human experiences and live if it's not with you. I can't live without you!" I told him, my voice becoming more hysteric ever second.

"Bella, your life is worth so much more than being damned to live forever with a monster. You need to see that we were never meant to be together. What happened between us is some freak accident in the universe, it shouldn't have happened." He told me, grasping the top of my shoulders, trying to make me see sense, or his view of events.

Tears filled my eyes and I said, "So what you're saying is that, your love for me is an accident, it shouldn't of happened. It's something that's a mistake. You loving me is a mistake. That's what you're saying. That everything I feel for you is a freak and terrible mistake in the universe. That everything I've been through to get you to understand how much I love you and to get you to understand how special you are, is a mistake, that I should regret every moment we've shared, every kiss, every touch. I should forget it all, because it's a mistake. It's something you regret. This makes it something I regret." I gasped the tears cascading down my cheeks.

"Bella, I'm so sorry." He whispered.

"Don't." I gasped, "Don't say you're sorry. That would make everything wrong, even worse, because you're saying sorry for loving me. You're saying sorry for holding me, for kissing me, for touching me. You're saying sorry for every moment we spent together." I sobbed.

"Bella..."

"I-I-I can't e-even s-speak, it h-hurts so much." I sobbed; I fell to the floor and wrapped my arms around me.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

And when I looked up, I was alone.


	16. Confrontation

Chapter 16

Confrontation

BPOV

I waited. And waited. And waited for him. Waiting for him to come back. But he didn't.

It had been two weeks since the day that he left, leaving me and my broken heart behind. I stood on the porch for the eighth time that day, looking out into the forest as the sun went down, searching for any sign of movement that might be him.

"Bella, it's getting cold now. Come inside sweetie, I don't want you to catch a cold." Esme said from the doorway.

I didn't turn around, "I'm fine. Thank you though, for everything."

"If you get cold please come in, we're all terribly worried about you." She told me sincerely.

"I will."

I heard the door slide shut and then Esme cry out loud,

"What are we going to do? We have no idea where he is and he won't answer his phone." She cried, "She won't do anything, I can't handle this anymore. She's hurting so much. I just know it!"

"She'll be fine. Edward won't stay away much longer. You know he won't. He just needs some time. He'll be back in the next few days." Carlisle soothed her.

I hoped he was right. I hoped that Edward would be back soon. I didn't think I would be able to handle any more time away from him, knowing he was avoiding me.

It was dark when Alice slid open the door and sat next to me on the porch swing.

"Bella?" She asked.

"What Alice?" I replied harshly.

"Just so you know this wasn't your fault, he didn't leave because of what you said. He had been thinking about it the day before." She told me.

"What do you mean?" I asked turning to her.

"He'd already told me that he didn't want to take your life away, he didn't want to destroy your soul. He'd been saying that if you were with him you couldn't have a normal life, you couldn't have a family. He didn't want to steal away your future just because he loved you." She told me.

"So he left me because he didn't want to destroy my future? He didn't want to destroy my soul?" I asked.

"Yes. He loves you soo much, I bet you it's killing him to be away from you. He can't live without you, just like you can't live without him. You'd die for him. Right?"

I nodded.

"Why does he have to be so difficult? I'll kill him when he gets back, for both of us." She ranted.

I smiled slightly, "That won't make me feel better. I just want him to be here, to say he loves me and that he'll never leave me again."

"If you want I can try to call him again?" She asked, pulling her phone out.

"He won't answer." I said but she already had the phone to her ear.

"It's ringing." She smiled, "It doesn't usually ring."

I shook my head, smiling slightly at my amazing sister.

"Hello?" She said.

I waited while somebody spoke on the other side of the phone.

"Tanya? Where's Edward?" Alice said her voice stern.

I was in shock. Why was Tanya answering Edward's phone? Alice said he was nowhere near Alaska.

"What do you mean he's busy?" She growled.

I held my hand out for the phone. Alice looked at me shaking her head.

"Please?" I whispered.

She sighed and handed me the phone.

"Tanya, it's Bella." I said.

"Oh, hi Bella." She said her tone full of fake happiness.

"Where's Edward?" I demanded.

"He's outside. Why?" She asked innocently.

"Why is he outside?" I asked.

"He's getting some air."

"Why?"

"You guess why." And she hung up.

I stared at the phone for what seemed like forever before I handed it back to Alice.

"Bella?"

"Can you go Alice? Please?" I asked her staring out into the dark forest.

"Sure. Come in soon. It's going to get colder." She said walking inside. I turned to look inside and after seeing Alice disappear around the corner I got up and walked down the steps and into the forest.

It was freezing cold, just like Alice had said. Even though I was wearing jeans, my boots, my long sleeved T-shirt and my checkered shirt, I could still feel the cold even through all my layers.

I stumbled through the forest until I was so far in I couldn't see any light coming from any direction. I fell to the ground and curled up there, waiting for the pain to pull me under.

When I awoke I wasn't in the same area of the forest I had been in. It was much darker due to the mass of trees and right in front of me was a dark hollow cave.

I stumbled to get up and fell back down in my fear. It was the same cave, the same part of the forest the same everything as in my dream, except there was one difference.

I wouldn't wake up from this dream, because it wasn't. And Edward wouldn't be there to comfort me when I screamed; he was far away, away with Tanya.

I walked slowly towards the cave, shuddering every time I took a step closer. I was scared as to how this would end. My dream had been a nightmare, something I feared seeing, and now something I was living.

The weeks I had spent away from Edward had been slow, lonely and painful, and I doubted that now – after everything that had happened – that he would actually come back. And I just couldn't go on with my life without him. He was my life.

With one more shaky step I was in the cave. The walls were dripping with the water from the nearby river I guessed and the ground was covered in something stickier, and thicker in substance.

I pulled out my phone and shone the light from it on the ground.

Glistening red was the blood of some unfortunate. I looked ahead, refusing to look at the blood. I had been right, this was something I should fear, I should fear at how it would end.

I didn't pay much attention to my surroundings as I walked further into the cave, I knew that if I did I would run out of here, but I knew that I must carry on, that this was meant to happen, that my fate was near.

Without Edward I was nothing. He was me, I was him. There was no way around it, no matter what. I had known all along that he had never been meant for me, he was too perfect and extraordinary to belong to an ordinary, clumsy, stupid human. He'd never loved me. It was all a lie, he felt protective of me because we were family so he pretended he loved me to keep me safe, and when it got out of hand he left, ran off back to the woman he really loved, Tanya.

I was in so much pain that I didn't notice that somebody was standing in front of me, waiting for me.

I looked up and tried to make out the figure in the dark. It was no use, I couldn't see in this light. And then the person spoke,

"She told me you would come." There was a smile to his voice, "That you would stumble through the forest and that all I would have to do is. . . Well, I bet you already know. I would have already guessed."

I stepped back, the pain of my loss and the fear of this encounter telling me to run.

"I never understood why she felt threatened by you. You are just a human. Harmless and breakable. Why would she want to get rid of you?" He looked up, "And then she told me about her . . . love for a certain somebody. Somebody who cherished you very much, am I right?" I didn't answer. "Yes I am. So guess what she did? She got some of my friends to fight with this, Edward, so that I could deal with you without any interruptions. We wouldn't want that now would we? I mean if you're going to die, you want to make t quick, right?"

I took another step back.

"But she told me not to make it quick. She told me to draw it out, to make it excruciatingly painful and very long. To tear you to pieces if I had to." I shuddered, "But I wouldn't do that. And even though she would kill me for doing this my way, not her way, but her way was a little too mean for me. And even though you smell so mouth watering you look harmless and very much scared, am I right again?"

I nodded and closed my eyes; I didn't want to die, not yet. I needed to ask one more question though, even though I already knew the answer.

"Who hired you?" My voice trembled.

He smiled, "Tanya. I don't think she would mind me telling you as you are going to die anyway, but if something does happen and you get away alive. Don't tell her I told you, ok?"

I nodded, "Why would you let me get away?"

"This isn't my fight and I would rather not get into one with the clan you call your family. This is between you and Tanya. You seem nice enough to trust, to trust not to tell."

"I promise."

"You better keep that promise, because Laurent doesn't want to have to come and hurt you now do I?"

I shook my head, "No."

"Good, now close your eyes and count to ten." He told me. I closed my eyes but didn't wait. I ran for it.

I just kept running until I could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, literally. When I made it out of the cave I just kept running, not looking back, not looking to see if Laurent was chasing me. I ran through the forest tripping several times over branches, but never looking behind me knowing it would slow me down.

It was then that something hit me from the side and I slammed into a nearby tree, my chest aching, my head throbbing.

I looked up into the evil eyes of the beautiful Tanya. She sneered at me.

"You're not going anywhere. You were the only thing stopping me from being with Edward and soon you'll be nothing but a pile of ash in the forest. Nobody will know where you are or if you're alive."

I was terrified; I didn't want to die, not like this. There had to be another way.

"I'll leave." I said, hopelessly.

"I tried that before, I tried to get you to move to La Push but you all saw through my letters." Her strawberry blonde hair billowing in the winter wind.

"I'll leave and never come back, I'll tell Edward I hate him and that I never want to see him again, I'll tell him you're better for him. Just please, don't kill me." I pleaded, knowing that it was a hopeless situation.

She seemed to think about this for a moment before speaking, "You'll disappear? Never come back? Never contact them or him?"

I nodded, "Yes. Please, I don't want to die. He's better off without me anyway. He doesn't belong to me, he never has. He was never meant for me."

She smiled, "I believe that you'll stay away, but he won't. He'll try and find you. I just know it. So I can't risk that." She said, the most terrifying and menacing smile on her lips.

She pulled he hand back and hit me clean across the face, my head slamming against the tree trunk. My last thought was; I love you Edward, I'm sorry.


	17. Final Words

Chapter 17

Final words?

EPOV

I kicked the red haired woman called Victoria straight in the chest and she slammed into a nearby tree. I didn't have time to be fighting with nomads, I needed to see Bella. That was all that mattered to me, to see her to apologise to her for what I had said, to tell her I loved her, no matter what.

"We've stalled him enough. We need to get going." The blond haired man named James thought.

He ran over to Victoria, whispered the same in her ear then they ran off into the snow covered forest. I was confused as to what James had been thinking. Why were they stalling me? Did they know Bella or the rest of my family? I doubted that.

I turned around to make my way back to Forks when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I recognised the number and flipped it open,

"What Alice?" I asked.

"I didn't know, I couldn't see. I'm so sorry, I don't know where she is, her future just disappeared. I don't know what to do it's all blurry." She said in a rush.

"Alice what are you talking about?" I asked her, confused but also dreading the answer.

"Bella. Her future disappeared about half an hour after she walked off into the forest. I didn't think she'd be very long, after what Tanya said to her she probably just wanted some time to herself, to think. But then her whole future disappeared, yours too." She sounded worried and I didn't like that one bit.

"What did Tanya say to her? When did she visit?" I asked.

"She didn't, she's in Alaska with you. That's what she told us."

"She's not here. Irina told me she was hunting. She's been gone for a week." I told her slightly confused. "What did she say to Bella?" I urged.

"She said that you were, _with_ her. Bella looked heartbroken." She said.

"She said what! I can't believe her! She's really trying to tear us apart isn't she?!" I growled.

"That doesn't matter. All that matters is that we find Bella; she's been missing over an hour now. I'm worried, I have bad feeling that Bella's . . ." She trailed off and I fell to my knees.

"Don't say that! Don't you ever say that you hear me?" I growled at her.

"Edward just get back here, please." She urged.

"I'm on my way." I slammed my phone shut and ran off into the forest to find my love.

BPOV

I thought I was dead, the pain was so excruciating that I had trouble hearing or seeing anything. I thought that that would be my final moment, my final thought. Obviously not.

I looked up into her hungry eyes, her strawberry blond hair looking nothing close to sweet as I had first thought when I met her. It was truly menacing now. I held my head, the blood pulsing from the deep gash. I pulled myself up and leaned against the tree, trying to find my balance had always been a problem but now I could hardly see my vision blurry as she hovered over me.

"This may hurt just a little." She smiled and grabbed me by my shirt. She flung me into a boulder and I heard several snaps come from my chest. I knew this was how it would end. How I would die. And yet I couldn't bring myself to say goodbye. I didn't want to say goodbye even though I knew that I must.

She ran over and punched me right in the face, my nose crunching at the impact. I was in so much pain already that it didn't register when she threw me into another tree and a sharp branch pierced my leg.

I knew that I would die within minutes; there wasn't a small possibility that I would survive this. I was dying already and just as she walked over to me, her golden eyes hungry for my blood I managed to say my final words as she bent her head over my neck,

"Edward, I love you, forever." And then everything went black and the burning began.

EPOV

I ran as fast as I could, not caring if any hikers saw me, the only thing that mattered to me was to find Bella. To find her alive. Hopefully.

I dismissed that thought, not wanting to break down just yet, even though my heart was already broken at just the thought of her disappearance.

Suddenly I crossed her scent, it was still strong, not even two hours old, she was still nearby, I just knew it. She had to be.

I ran faster, following her scent, ignoring the amount of times my phone buzzed in my pocket, just searching for her. I had to find her, I just had to. I couldn't lose her, not the reason for my existence, not my other half.

Her scent became stronger and then the thoughts of one particular hit me and I growled, running faster to find her.

"_Nobody will find her once I've finished with her." _

I ran faster and my eyes saw red as I saw Tanya crouched over Bella's still broken body. I ran faster than I ever had before and grabbed Tanya off of her, throwing her into a boulder.

I held Tanya up against the boulder and growled repeatedly at her, not being able to say anything. I knew I had to end this. I held her firmly against the boulder and was about to sweep my teeth across her neck when Carlisle placed his hand on my shoulder stopping me automatically.

"Don't Edward. Don't be as bad as her; she will get what she deserves. But you won't be the one to do it. You won't become a monster." He told me.

I stumbled back, only just realising that I was becoming the monster I never wanted to be. I turned around and found Alice applying pressure to Bella's leg where the blood was pulsing the most.

"Edward please help. We can't lose her!" She screamed at me.

I just stood there unable to move unable to see past what I had done. I had killed her. I had done this to her.

"Edward help your sister. You know what to do."Carlisle said holding Tanya firmly against the rock.

"_I would ask Alice to hold her but she would kill her just like Edward nearly had."_

I knelt over her and worked quickly, using what Carlisle had in his bag. I stitched up her leg and her head, all the while thinking that this was my entire fault, that I had caused this. Alice helped me she reassured me every time she saw me running off.

Bella was still unconscious but her bleeding had ceased. She was safe for now. I didn't know what to do as I finished stitching up her leg. Esme had arrived now and was in charge of holding Tanya as Carlisle checked that Bella was stable.

"_How are we going to get over this? I've never seen Edward so broken before. It hurts me to see him like this." _ Esme's kind thoughts had always distracted me, but not today. Today they just put me through more pain, knowing that if Bella didn't make it through this we would all suffer.

Three weeks, 4 days, 9 hours, 26 minutes and 34 seconds. That's how long Bella had been unconscious, never changing, never getting any better as the days went by.

I sat next to her bed, staring at her face her broken and bruised face, wishing that she would wake up, wishing she would get better. The monitors beeped in synchronisation as they helped her breath.

I wanted her to wake up; I wanted her to look at me with her brown eyes, full of desire when she kissed me. I wanted to hold her in my arms and tell her I would never leave her again, I wanted to tell her I loved her.

Carlisle walked in, sat next to Esme and held her hand. Esme and Carlisle were the only ones here with me, the rest were hunting, despite them all wanting to stay with her. Carlisle had promised to call them if anything happened.

"Edward, you should go hunt. When she wakes up, it will be difficult for you." Carlisle said to me simply. _"I know it hurts you to be away from her but it's for the best."_

"No. I won't leave her." I said stubbornly. There wasn't the slightest chance that I would leave my Bella, not a chance.

"Edward, think of what she would say if she were awake and she saw that your eyes were black? She would tell you to hunt and not to worry about her. Wouldn't she?" Esme said sweetly, concerned that I would turn on the nearest human. _"Bella wouldn't want you to be in pain whilst staying with her. You know what she's like."_

I smiled at the thought of Bella standing in front of me, telling me to go hunt. Her eyes full of sadness for she didn't want me to leave but her brow and mouth pulled into a stubborn line, telling me she wouldn't have it any other way.

I chuckled lightly as I imagined her frustrated face and what she would sound like when she told me to go, even though she didn't want me to leave, she wanted me to stay with her, to be with her, just like I wanted to be with her.

I kissed her lips lightly, hoping for something that would never happen and then it happened; she woke up.

She blinked several times before smiling widely at me.

"Edward?" She choked. Esme and Carlisle rushed over to her side.

"Shh. . . I'm here." I said stroking her face adoringly, looking into her chocolate eyes, thanking the god I didn't believe in for bringing her back to me.

"It hurts." She gasped, fidgeting under the covers.

"I know. I'm so sorry this is my entire fault, I should never have left you." I said quietly, the pain in my voice undeniable.

"No. Never." She whispered simply.

"Bella? How do you feel?" Carlisle asked her.

She shrugged and then cringed, "Ow!"

I stroked her face soothingly, letting her know everything would be alright.

"You have a lot of injuries. A broken arm, several broken ribs, you had two deep gashes which managed to be stitched up on the scene, concussion and a broken nose, not to mention bruises over you entire body." Carlisle told her. _"I'm surprised she's even able to talk, she had severe concussion."_

I would rather he hadn't of told her all of this, I didn't want her to worry. She was safe and was recovering, even though she had been unconscious for several weeks.

"No wonder I hurt all over." She smiled her voice weak.

Carlisle smiled at her then walked out of the room to speak to the nurse. _"She'll be fine now she's awake. She just needs to rest."_

Esme smiled at her and kissed her forehead, "You had us all worried. You have to be more careful, we could have lost you."

"I'm sorry. I won't do it again." She said weakly.

"_Look after her Edward."_ Esme smiled then, "I'm going to call the rest of them. They should be here soon."

Esme left the room and I watched as Bella turned back to me. Her eyes were just as weak as her voice, telling me she was in a lot of pain.

"You hurt." I stated.

She nodded, "Yeah, but nothing that you can't fix." Her lips drew up into a smug little grin.

I was suddenly happy again, completed now she was here, awake, teasing me.

"How can I fix it?" I asked leaning closer.

"Kiss me." She said simply, her voice turning into a whisper.

I smiled and gently pressed my lips to hers, ignoring the slight burn in my throat. I didn't expect anything less from her as I moved my lips against hers and she knotted her hands in my hair. I didn't think about stopping it until the heart monitor suddenly went crazy and told me that Bella's heart had just stopped.

I pulled away and her lips formed a small pout. I couldn't help but laugh.

"You'll stay won't you?" She asked me.

"Forever." I whispered simply.


	18. Arguments

Apologises to all who read the chapter they thought was 18 when really it was another version of chapter 17. This chapter was based on the other version but I had to change some things so it was a continuation of chapter 17. If you would of read chapter 17 and then the chapter that I put up yesterday it wouldn't have made any sense. It didn't to me anyway.

Thank you to;

**Pastelroses **and all the people who have commented.

Chapter 18

Arguments

BPOV

I was in the meadow with Edward. We were lying in the grass, him holding me in his arms when all of a sudden I woke up.

"My Bella." He gasped.

I blinked several times, making sure that I wasn't still dreaming. Then I moved my hand slowly towards his face and stroked his cheek gently.

"Hello." He said and wrapped his arms around me pulling me upright from the bed. I wrapped my arms around him and inhaled his amazing scent, trying to memorise it. I sighed and realised tears were falling down my cheek.

He pulled back and looked at me, his face glowing with happiness.

"Bella? Why are you crying?" He asked.

I sniffed and gazed into his eyes, "Because I woke up. I was dreaming."

He sighed and smiled at me, gazing deep into my eyes, searching.

I did the exact same until the door burst open and Mike and several other of my school friends including, Angela and Jessica. Angela smiled as she caught sight of me and Edward, Jessica smiled slightly but mike was glaring at us. I quickly rearranged my position on my bed and Edward slipped his arms from around my waist and got up.

"I'll give you a minute." He said bending down to kiss my forehead.

I nodded, "You'll come back right?"

He smiled, "Of course."

He swiftly left the room leaving me there with Mike, Angela And Jessica. I smiled awkwardly at them and waited.

Angela was the first to speak.

"Bella, are you ok?"

I nodded, "Yeah, now anyway. I can't remember what happened though." I said trying to find out what the cover story was. Considering I'd already woken up they had to know that something big had happened for me to have been asleep all this time again.

"You can't remember anything?" She asked.

I shook my head, "I remember being in the forest. But that's it." I lied knowing that they would have had to put my being in the forest the story.

"Mrs Cullen told us about that. They've been so worried about you but only one persons been allowed in at a time and well, Edward's been in here nearly all the time. We haven't had a chance to come in. Sorry." She said smiling slightly.

"It's okay. Edward can be a bit overprotective at times." I said with a smile.

"I wish I had an brother who looked after me as much as he does you." Jessica said, "You're so lucky."

I tried to hide the lie I was just about to say but I gave up and told the truth.

"He's not really much of a brother anymore. He never has been." I said looking down.

Mike and Jessica stared at me confused but Angela was beaming at me, she seemed to understand.

"So Edward's finally found someone has he?" She smiled.

"Yeah and so have I." I smiled back at her, relief colouring my tone.

Mike narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms.

"So you and Cullen huh?" He shot at me.

I nodded and glared at him, "It's got nothing to do with you. So butt out."

"The hell it hasn't!" He said raising his voice.

"Ange, Jess it was nice to see you can you give me a minute." I said not diverting my glare from Mike.

"Sure. Get well soon." Angela said an left the room with Jessica right behind her.

"What do you mean Mike? It hasn't got anything to do with you!" I told him.

"I'm your friend of course it's got something to do with me!" He shouted.

"No it hasn't! You're no friend of mine, not after what happened at your party!" I shouted back at him.

"I wasn't all there. I never meant to upset you." He said his voice a tiny bit quieter.

"I don't care if your brain was in China, you still would of done it!" I shouted at him.

It was then that I realised that my breathing was near hyperventilation and the heart monitor was going wild.

"Anyway, I wasn't talking going to talk to you about that I was going to talk to you about Cullen. He's not good enough for you Bella. He's practically your family. Isn't that weird?" He said his voice a tad bit calmer.

"NO it's not weird. And he's more than good enough. He's actually too good. I couldn't have asked for anyone better than him." I said trying to calm myself.

"You'd be better off with somebody who wasn't family. Like me, I'm ten times better for you than Cullen is, and anyway Cullen's a freak he acts weird." He told me .

"How dare you say that! You're more of a freak than he is! I don't have a clue who you think you are telling me who I should go out with! I love him! That's a big enough reason to go out with him. I don't need much else!" I shouted.

"What the hell you can't know that! You're only seventeen!" He shouted louder than me.

"You have no right to tell me how I feel! Now GET OUT!" I screamed my head becoming light.

"Bella! He's trouble I just know it! Trust me! Try and get it into your brain!" He shouted at me shaking me by my shoulders.

"Get your hands off of her." My saviour growled from the door way.

Mike froze and slowly let go of me. I collapsed back against the pillows struggling to breath, the heart monitor telling everybody there that my heart had stopped.

Edward pushed Mike out the way and was stroking my face reassuringly, but extremely anxious.

"Shh. Bella you're fine. I'm here. Shh." He soothed.

I looked into the face of my angel and took deep breaths. Knowing, looking into his eyes, I was safe.


	19. The End

**This is the alternative ending I warned you guys would go up if I didn't see a lot of interest in the sequel and well after deciding that because I was struggling to write the sequel and it wasn't getting enough interest even from day one I'd write an alternative ending to The Heartbeat of Forever to close the story of Bella and Edward. **

**This story has been exceedingly cheesy for me to reread but I'm happy with it so here's your perfect ending to my first ever fanfiction. **

**Thanks for all your support, the views on this story continue to grow all the time which I'm so grateful for. Thank you for everything.**

_**Nicole.**_

* * *

Alternative Ending.

The Heartbeat of Forever.

BPOV

"Edward?" I asked as he helped me sit up in my bed so I could eat my lunch.

"What love?" He replied stroking my face.

"What happened to T-Tanya?" I asked him quietly, knowing he would hear me.

I don't really remember what had happened that day. I was so upset about Edward that when Tanya started to beat me up the pain was just adding to what I already felt, so much so that I didn't really realize what was going on.

"We had to let her go." He said hanging his head.

I lifted his head up easily with my index finger, "I don't understand. Why did you?"

My voice was strangely calm considering we were talking about the vampire who was so exceedingly jealous of me that she tried and nearly succeeded in killing me.

He looked directly into my eyes, searching, probably for any hint that I was scared about this subject. After a while he sighed,

"We let her go because not only would her sisters want to kill me or whoever helped kill her in Carlisle's eyes I would be just as bad as she was, a killer." He scoffed the last part.

I stared at him confused as to why he scoffed at that part. He seemed to understand.

"I'm already a killer. Just by being . . . what I am makes me one. I'm designed to kill. I'm designed to draw you in to kill you." He hung his head again.

I lifted it up with one of my fingers, "Edward . . . you'd never hurt me, so don't make me go through all of it again. Okay?"

He sighed, "Okay. I know you trust me and I should be able to trust your trust in me but. . . I just have a feeling that I'm going to hurt you."

I groaned. How many times would we have this conversation? He wasn't going to hurt me. I trusted him with my life, with my soul. I just wish he could trust himself, if he did I wouldn't need to keep going over the fact that I knew he wouldn't.

"Edward, seriously, if you say one more thing negative like that I'm going to have to ask you to leave the room." I told him, holding his chin in between my hand.

He stared into my eyes apologetically, "I'm sorry. I won't say anything negative until you leave the hospital."

"That's next week. Are you sure you can be positive and happy for a whole week?" I asked warily as he rested his face in my hand.

"I'll get some help off Jasper. I'm sure he'd help me." He admitted.

I frowned, "That's great. I won't be able to have five minutes alone with you now."

He took my hand from his face and kissed my palm, "I can try to be positive now, if you'd like?"

I smiled, "You promise?"

He dropped my hand and stroked my cheek gently, leaving a tingly path behind, "Yes."

"Okay." I breathed, "You can start by kissing me."

He leaned closer to me, I could feel his cool breath on my face as he placed his hands either side of my face and tilted his face to the side. His cool lips touched mine and I pulled his face closer to mine, pressing his lips with more force against mine.

The heart monitor went wild and Edward had to push me away a little bit before continuing to kiss me. I tried to behave myself but I knew that I wouldn't be able to stay still for long as he moved his lips against mine. I moved my lips against his and the monitor told us my heart had stopped. He pulled away.

"I'm going to have to be extra careful with you now." He chuckled.

"Yes, you are. Bella has trouble enough without you stopping her heart."

I looked up to see Carlisle walk up to my bed with my chart in his hands. I didn't hear him come into the room.

"Sorry Carlisle. I'll try to behave." Edward said brushing my hair away from my face, not breaking our gaze.

"Good." He said before turning to me, "You should be out in less than a week now. Your cuts and bruises are nearly 100% better; your ribs are nearly healed, but your arm was broken in several places so you'll have to wear a cast for a few more weeks if it doesn't heal soon."

I nodded, "Where are the rest of them? I've seen them once in the past two weeks." I asked. I missed my family, I know that they wanted me to rest and Carlisle had said only a few in at a time but seeing them once in two weeks was ridiculous.

"They're all outside. Do you want them to come in?" He asked. I could tell the way his brow knitted in concern that he didn't really want them to come in, I still needed to rest and he knew that.

I nodded again, "Yes please. If that's alright with you?" I asked, making sure that he knew I knew he was concerned.

"Just make sure you rest afterwards. You need all the sleep you can get." He said placing my chat back on the end of my bed.

"She will." Edward answered. "I'll make sure of it."

Carlisle smiled, "Ok. I'll tell them."

I sat there with Edward's arms around me for a few minutes before the door cracked open and Emmett poked his head round the door,

"Hey, clumsy, can we come in?" He asked.

"Considering I asked Carlisle to ask you to come in, I guess that you can." I smiled.

He opened the door all the way and revealed a big bouquet of flowers in his hands. I groaned,

"What have I said about presents?" I asked him.

"That we should buy you loads?" He asked a smirk on the edge of his lips.

Alice, Jasper and Rosalie followed Emmett in and each carried a present of some sorts. Alice was holding a giant 'Get Well Soon!' card and when I mean giant I mean it was as big as or bigger than me, Jasper a giant teddy bear with 'Get well Clumsy' on it and Rosalie was holding a large box of chocolates.

"Seriously, I don't know why I bother saying anything to you lot, you don't listen." I complained.

Edward chuckled, "Maybe I should ignore all of your complaints about presents and get you something. I'd like to spoil you once in a while."

I narrowed my eyes, "If you ignored me, you wouldn't have the right to buy me presents. If you catch my drift." I threatened him.

His eyes grew sad and I kissed his cheek to reassure him that I was only playing around. His smile returned.

"Okay," I said, "Give them to me." I sighed in defeat, I knew they would have given me the presents whether I wanted them or not.

Alice stepped up first with the gigantic card and handed to me. I managed to open it and read the message inside which read;

_**To**__** Clumsy,.**_

_**Get Well Soon!**_

_**All our love,**_

_**Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, Jasper, Carlisle and Esme Xxx**_

_**P.S. I attached added balance card for you. Thought it might help.**_

"Thank you, that means a lot to me." I told them closing the card, "And thanks for the added balance Em, you're the best." I smiled sarcastically.

They all laughed and then left me to get some rest, leaving in their couples as they did with a smile and a wave. Edward stayed with me and held my hand gently while my eyes fluttered closed and I drifted to sleep. Happy that everything was looking up for once.

I stood on the balcony, looking out into the forest and sighed loudly, a faint smile on my lips as Edward walked out behind me in just his pyjama bottoms. His arms wrapped themselves around me and he kissed my neck softly.

"You look good in my shirt." He murmured as I moved my hand to his, caressing it softly.

After I'd been released from the hospital and after a month of resting at home I finally tried to discuss with Edward the whole 'becoming a vampire' thing. We argued and whined at each other to accept the others views but it was no use. We were both too stubborn. About three months into my senior year I finally brought up the subject again but this time, told him we'd compromise. So we both got something from the deal.

I told him I wanted to be with him forever and that considering he was my family there was nothing or nobody I'd miss. I told him I wanted to finish high school first and then maybe we could come to some agreement. He agreed to it at first but kept asking for more time which I refused. He knew that the only thing keeping him to the deal was that if he didn't change me I'd get Carlisle to.

Another subject was brought up near graduation, mainly to do with how intimate we got. I wanted to have that human experience but he was scared he'd hurt me. He told me we'd try if I married him. I knew this would give him a little extra time, just what he always wanted but I liked the idea of marrying him. I agreed.

We got married a week ago. He wanted to take me away but I wanted to stay at home so everybody else went away for two weeks instead. We had the house to ourselves. Lucky me.

"Will you miss having a human wife when you turn me?" I asked softly as I looked up to the tops of the trees, leaning back into his marble chest.

He chuckled, "Yes, and no. I'll miss your blush I think and how you have 'human minutes'. But other than those things I won't be missing anything. You'll be just as soft as you are now, you'll still be warm, a little less fragile but nothing more. At least I won't be so cold to you when that does happen."

I nodded, "That's true, although you know I've never minded. I like how cold your skin is."

He leaned down to my ear, "Don't you get cold when we're in bed though?"

I smirked at his implications and turned in his arms to come face to face to him. I ran my hands through his hair and smiled softly, "You make me feel warm. Complete."

A dazzling smile spread across his lips and I smiled as well just before his lips hit mine and we started a passionate make out session. As my hands tangled in his hair his lips parted slightly and I inhaled deeply.

"Let's take this inside." He murmured against my lips as his hands gripped my waist softly.

I nodded fervently.

Everything was perfect.


End file.
